Codependent

Chapter 76

The next day, Tuesday, October 26th.

"So someone shared some concerns with me about you," Andrew started and I frowned confused. "About what?" I asked him.

"You're eating and sleeping behaviour," he said and I groaned in frustration of having to talk about it again.

"Why does this upset you so much?" he asked and I sighed sitting against the couches of the couch.

"Because it's always brought up, and I always have to explain everything I do," I answered and he just looked at me.

"Why don't you like to explain it to someone, what is your fear?" he asked calmly. "It's not a fear, it's just that I hate it when people worry about me or feel sorry for me," I explained and he nodded.

"When you would meet someone who's been through the same things as you, won't you feel sorry for them?" he asked and I sighed.

"I would, it would be terrible, but it's about the way people treat you differently as soon as you open up about you're past instead of working with what's in front of them, and it's just annoying that I feel it when people feel sorry for me, but I know they can't help it," I explained and he nodded.

"Do you want to tell me what the sleeping and eating habits are?" he asked and I nodded hesitantly but whatever, everything to get better right?

"I was wiped a lot in hydra and I have a lot of holes in my memory because of them, at night when I sleep, or even when I'm extremely calm and quiet, they just flood into my brain and I relive them, they wake me up and I'm afraid to lose control over my powers as soon as I close my eyes, and I never needed much sleep anyway," I explained and he nodded understandingly.

"The eating thing... is just messed up in my brain, I have this hate for eating in front of others, or people I don't really know and trust, it was okay with the avengers because I got comfortable around them, but coming here it was really confronting and I just get nauseous at the idea of eating with them, and I never needed a lot of food anyway," I said again.

"What do you mean when you never needed it much anyway?" he asked and I sighed.

"In hydra, I was given limited amounts of food and water to keep me weak and sleep was hard when I was terrorised with nightmares, so I think I just got used to it, but I already ate a lot more before coming here, I went from eating once a week to every day at least a meal, or I tried so," I explained and smiled proudly.

"Why are you so determined to have growth? You didn't have to come here for example," he asked curiously and I thought about it.

"I don't really know, it's the first time I was given chances to become a better person by choice, and it was the first time I had the chance to become the person my mother believed I was meant to become," I said softly clarifying the reason and he looked surprised.

"This is the first time you mentioned her, what do you remember about her?" he asked again but he was smiling softly and he leaned more forward showing he was invested in this story.

"Not much, I remember the day I was taken from her the most, what she told me, like to always have hope, she saw something in me that I still can't see in myself, and she worked as a shield agent, Nick Fury told me that, he knew her apparently, so coming here would give me an idea of what she did," I said and he smiled.

"What qualities do you think you have from your mother and father?" he asked and I thought about it, it was a good question.

"I think I got my mother's hopeful and caring side, but my father's coldness and manipulation," I said and he frowned.