Codependent

Chapter 75

I sat across from Andrew and he looked at me thoughtfully. He still had my answer sheets close to him and I waited for him to say anything.

"Long day?" he asked me looking at my arm. "Yeah let's just go with that," I said dryly and he smiled.

"I finished reading all of your answers and I thought a little about them, how do you feel about me reading your whole history when you don't know me?" he asked.

"I don't like it, but I don't think you're the type of person who bases a report on just someone's past," I said and he chuckled and nodded.

"Do you have a person with who you shared everything? Loki, maybe?" he asked and I nodded no.

"I shared a lot with him from when I was younger, but he hasn't seen anything past 10 or 11 years old," I said and he asked what I meant.

"He could go inside my mind and look at my memories, it's like the movie of my life where we went through, it was... a lot but we haven't gotten past 10," I explained and he nodded understandingly.

"So, you could show me, or anyone else?" he asked and I nodded. "If I want to," I said and he smiled.

"Why didn't you show him more?" he asked and I sighed.

"It's not like I didn't want him to know, but I have to go through them again as well and I guess that I just kind of avoided it," I said and he nodded understandingly.

"You're a very open person, very honest, but you're still afraid of trusting or sharing, why is that?" he asked.

"It's hard to change the way I behave if I was taught a protocol for almost all my life," I said dryly and he looked thoughtfully. "In hydra?" he asked and I nodded.

"Can you explain why you were there? what you were taught to do?" he asked and I nodded.

"I was learned to follow rules from the first day, I was taught how to fight, how to hide, how to lie, and how to kill, they controlled me by wiping my mind a few times and they had these chips placed into my body that keeps me from hurting them back," I started and he just took it all in.

"The mind wipes stopped working when I got older and stronger, I tried to run away a lot of times but they always knew where I was so I gave up, it wasn't worth what came after breaking the rules," I said softly biting the inside of my mouth and he sighed.

"Is that why you became suicidal?" he asked carefully and I nodded.

"I wanted to do anything to leave that place, so after giving up I just became a zombie with a lot of sarcasm," I said and he nodded.

I looked at my hand and saw the purple flowing through my veins and took a deep breath.

"Everything okay?" Andrew asked and I looked up at him.

"Yeah, it's just that my powers are kinda unstable, not sure why though," I said and he looked at me worryingly making me frown at him. 

I said that it was fine for a while and we continued the conversation, he asked what it was like for me in hydra and I told him about Bucky and all the things I did to annoy him.

We ended the conversation a little bit earlier than usual when I started my powers feeling more uncontrolled and I went to find someone that could lead the way to one of those rooms Daisy told me about.

I found her talking with Mack and I walked up to them making her confused.

"Do any of those rooms you told me about happen to be free?" I asked and she said to follow me, Mack walked with us for some reason and he looked at me thoughtfully.