It's Time

Worlds Apart

My eyes flutter open, and I see his face, the face.

"Olivia, you scared me there for a moment. You always did like to keep me on my toes," he laughs while holding me tightly in his arms. My life has always been chaotic, but in his arms, I am always at peace; I am always me.

"What are you doing here, Spencer?" My voice is stained equally with pain and confusion. He can't be here. He shouldn't be here.

He slowly releases his grip on me, making sure I'm seated comfortably on the bench. We stare into each other's eyes, getting lost in the moment. I can see everything I've ever loved in those eyes, every moment I've ever cherished.

"Spencer!" my voice raises with something to prove— unsure if this act is for him or myself.

"I made a mistake, Liv." His eyes never leave the necklace sitting on the table in front of us. He reaches for it, but I am quicker.

I snatch the necklace right out of his grasp, slamming it down on the table. "You don't get to touch that," my pained voice bellows. "You made a mistake? A mistake!"

Spencer looks at me, not moving an inch. "Liv I-,"

"No," I yell as tears flood from my eyes.

"Olivia," he whispers as he reaches for my hand.

"No," I yell again, this time snatching my hand away from his reach. I stare at him, tears forming, desperately hoping my eyes don't betray me. Why was I still holding on to this stupid necklace? Why did I still love him?

"Olivia," he pleads again.

"You left me. You didn't choose me, Spencer. Why didn't you choose me?" My voice shakes. Tears flow freely from my eyes as my façade fades and the magnitude of my pain is now on full display. I stare at him, hoping for an answer. I long to understand how he could walk away from everything we were, everything we built.

"I was scared, Olivia," he begins, and I instantly hop up from my seated position to move as far away from him as possible. My mind begins to fill with so many thoughts I'm unsure if I even hear what he says anymore. I hear the noise in the background, but the words are intelligible to me. He was scared, scared? Is he serious right now? That's the best that he has— scared?

I didn't even notice I was pacing around the room until I felt a firm grasp on both of my arms. I'm forced motionlessness as I look up at Spencer. I yank my arms out of his grasp, never removing my eyes from his, and slowly take a few steps back. He starts to move towards me. "Stop," I say, intending it to be forceful though it comes out as more of a whisper. "Don't come any closer." I'm trying to be brave, desperately hoping I don't fall apart in his presence. What is he doing here?

"You hurt me, Spencer."

Spencer takes one step closer, pausing for my reaction. I don't move. He takes another step; again, I do not move. He continues these cautious movements until we are face to face, close enough daring us to fall back into old habits. Daring me to forget the day he left me devastated.

"Liv," he raises his right hand to my face as I allow my cheek to fall into his palm.

"You. Hurt. Me." My wounded voice articulates for a second time as my tears flow down my face crashing into his hand.

"I hurt you," he responds equally as pained.

He bends down to kiss my forehead, never releasing his grasp on my face. His lips linger for what feels like a lifetime before he slowly pulls away. "Olivia, please, I want to explain. I understand if you don't want to hear anything I have to say, but I have to at least try."