It's Time

Welcome Home Jace Pt. 1

A smile creeps on my face as we head back home. I try hard to keep my emotions in check because despite how excited I am to have Jace with us full time, I can't begin to imagine how hard this is for Julia. The drive is silent and tense. Julia decided she wanted her and me to sit down together and share the news with Jace. He's only four, and as bright as he is, his little mind will only be able to process so much. I won't lie; I'm a little afraid of how he's going to handle the news. I don't have a lot of concrete memories from when I was four, but my mom has been my best friend for as long as I can remember. Regardless of how Julia perceives her shortcomings, I'm sure all Jace has ever seen is a mama he loves with all his heart.

We pull in the driveway, and everybody exits the car except Julia. I motion Spencer and Brandon inside before making my way to the back passenger side of the car.

"We don't have to do this, you know. You say the word, and we'll call this whole thing off right now." I say to her as I lean against the side of the car.

"It's not that. I just don't want to see him cry. This is the last time I'll see his cute face, see his precious smile, and try to decipher the words that come out of his tiny voice. It's the last time I'll feel his hug. I'm old enough to understand it, and it hurts like hell. What is he going to think? How are you guys going to help him through that?" She nervously plays with her fingers.

"I don't know," I answer honestly. The truth is, Spencer and I have absolutely no idea what we're doing, and for some reason, you trust us anyway. All I can tell you is that I'll love him with everything I have, and I know Spencer will do the same."

She turns, offering me a small smile, but doesn't lend any more of her thoughts. I give her shoulder a gentle squeeze, and she allows her head to fall, resting it on my hand.

"You don't have to completely leave his life, Julia. Spencer is right; we would never ask that of you." I attempt to ease some of the anxiety she's feeling.

"Just because it's hard doesn't mean it's not the right thing to do." She lifts her head to look at me. "I'm making a big girl decision, and that comes with big girl consequences." She pauses before finally attempting to exit the car. I reach for her hand, and she happily accepts my assistance.

"For what it's worth, Julia, I didn't have half the strength you have at 19." She offers a small smile.

We enter the house, and Ms. Grace extends me a knowing look. Spencer must have given her a brief run-down of everything while I was outside. Jace is lying on the floor, his head resting on Bentley with an iPad in hand. I don't usually let him play on the iPad when I watch him, but Spencer believes in distraction by any means necessary.

"Hey, J-man," I call out. "Can you go to my room? Please, we want to talk to you."

He immediately jumps up, gently placing the iPad on the coffee table. "Come on, Bentley." I hear his sweet voice.

"Now or never," Julia whispers. And just like that, we're headed to try to explain to a four-year-old that everything he has ever known is about to change. I personally would prefer if Spencer were here for this conversation. Of course, his insight far exceeds the average person, and he rightfully pointed out that too many people could make this already complicated news more overwhelming for Jace.

"I'm not in trouble, am I?" Jace questions as we walk into my room. The fear in his voice is so cute but equally as sad. I walk over, scooping him up before sitting on the couch in my room. He snuggles his head against my chest, and I cling to him, desperate to protect him from what's coming.

Julia hesitantly follows, taking a seat beside us on the couch. "Hi, buddy," she says.

"Hi, momma," Jace responds though he doesn't lift his head from its resting place on my chest.