It's Time

New Beginnings

The sound of the garage opening wakes me from my slumber, and I know Spencer is back from his morning workout. It's been two weeks since we arrived in Chicago, and we are finally settling into a routine. Finding the perfect house proved to be an arduous task as Spencer wanted big and extravagant in the city, whereas I wanted something cozier. Luckily, he managed to find the best realtor Chicago has to offer, and we were able to find the perfect place in the outskirts while still having easy access to the city. With 5,500 square feet, the house was more than I initially bargained for, but I've really enjoyed filling in every space and turning this into our home.

"Baby, time to get up! I have coffee," Spencer speaks through the intercom. I personally do not see the need for an intercom system, but it came with the house, and Spencer could not be more excited. He's like a little kid on Christmas every time he plays with that thing. While I want to be annoyed, the pure joy that radiates from him in those moments makes it all worth it.

I groan before sitting up and grabbing the robe that hangs next to the bed. Spencer's unrelenting desire to explore every corner of this house has undoubtedly worn me out. I emerge from our bedroom as Spencer rushes over to kiss me.

"Ou, morning breath." I playfully push him away from me as he and I both chuckle. "Where is the coffee you promised?" He hands me the cup of iced coffee before tugging at the strings of my robe. "Slow your roll, captain. The last of the furniture delivery is scheduled for this morning, and we need to be ready when they come."

He kisses up my neck, obviously ignoring every word that leaves my mouth. I tug at his ear, finally getting his attention. "Fine," he whines, "but we will be finishing this later."

I walk back into our room, heading straight to the closet for something to wear. A small Patagonia vest instantly grabs my attention as I think back to my last conversation with my mom.

"Olivia, I am trying my hardest to remain calm, but you keep making it so difficult. Are you even thinking these days, or do you just leave that task to Spencer?" Her frustration finally boils over, and every held word rears its ugly head. The sarcasm in her voice repulses me.

She paces back and forth as uncomfortable silence fills the air around us. Although I can feel the subtle rise and fall of my chest with each breath, I'm drowning under the weight of her disappointment. My face is flushed as I fight back the tears. She's trying to break me, and I won't allow that.

"Spencer isn't making me do anything, mom," I let out assertively. "In fact, the only person pressuring me not to do what's best for me is you. HE'S NOT THE PROBLEM. YOU ARE."

My mom's eyes bulge out of her head as she struggles to articulate a response to my outburst. I do feel bad for yelling at her, but she barely allowed me to get a word in before smothering me with her pessimistic opinion. Why can't I just be happy? Isn't that enough?

"Honey, I'm just not certain you've thought this through. I mean, Spencer left with little regard for what it would do to you. Did he check on you, even once? I sometimes still hear your sobs at night, Olivia. The agony in each scream as you pleaded for the heartbreak to end is ingrained in my mind. I'm your mom; it's my job to protect you."

She comes to an abrupt stop, and her voice is shaking. The pain of Spencer leaving was so debilitating for me that I never considered the toll it took on my support system.

"Mom, I need you to forgive him." I gulp as I prepare for the latter half of my thoughts. "And... I need you to forgive me for still loving him." I choke the words out, unable to meet her gaze. I can't handle her judgment, and I hate that I just apologized for loving Spencer.