Wrong Person, Write Love.

Prose 025

"There are times when I still catch you staring at me the way you did before. Every time that happens, I can't help it but feel very uncomfortable.

Why, I always wonder, do you not look away every time I tried to look back at you?

Why, moreover, did your eyes look so sad?

After those months when we suddenly stopped talking to each other, I've done my best to accept the fact that you're happy now with someone else. At last, I thought, you've found someone who can commit herself to you-- unlike me who can't even hold your hand in public.

I have an image to maintain, after all. I've always been careful of what others might think of me because I'm supposed to be perfect. People respect me because I'm the top student, and I was contented with that.

You, on the other hand, are a free and beautiful soul. You can do just everything you wanted. Everyone loved you because you are very true to yourself and you always make people happy with your stupid yet funny jokes.

I, you knew, am also one of them.

I only had my eyes on my books and lessons before, but when I first stared back at you, I discovered something even more exciting than answering final examinations and more trivial than unsolved philosophical mysteries.

We tried, but failed. We fell in love once and I thought that was enough.

As you stared at me that starry night, I really thought you'll asked me for a dance. That would be our last chance, and besides that's the first time you ever saw me in a dress. You're wearing your band uniform back then-- and you looked like a prince charming in a nutcracker man suit.

But I walked away even before I can start hoping you'd approach me.

It's ironic, yet heartbreaking at the same time.

I am soon to be a teacher, but you're the one who taught me something I would never get tired of writing for.

You've taught me, that you can never have something if you're just brave enough to stare at them-- but never brave enough to hold them tight.

That you can love someone with all your heart, but still be afraid to touch them.

Perhaps, that's why your eyes looked so sad.

Because I always loved-- but never held you."

- Aries Writes