"Oh I'm fine!"
You say that as your lips go numb, head goes blank
You're chest is filled with an inexplicable black void
"I don't have a problem!"
You say that as you chug another bottle
2 turns to 4, 4 turns to 36, 36 turns to 1800
You're crying your eyes out
As the ataxia breaks your mobility at 3 am
and all you can do to stop it is
scribble repeatedly in your notebook for an hour
just to try to not lose control of yourself
"Nothing's wrong!"
But you're trembling and can't stay balanced
All you're focus is gone and you hallucinate screams
You hack and cough but as long as reality gone it doesn't matter
You smell like cheap plastic, and you can't even walk anymore
but
"Everything's okay!"
You exclaim as you're being driven to the emergency room
because you're bladder and kidneys are shutting down
You puke up red and urinate red but oh
You say in a scratchy weak voice,
"Don't worry about me!"
You're sentences glitch and your body is fighting back seizures
You can barely breathe and your heart beat is nothing
but a weak pulse
You're fatigued all the time and lose track of time
Inside your screaming for help
Begging for any way to escape this pain
This endless cycle of
Depression, chug two bottles, leave reality,
then feel the consequences.
"I'm happy!"
But your parents are screaming and crying, wondering
Why the fuck you'd do this to yourself, to them.
You're memory is shot and you can barely eat,
everything making you sick and puke.
Oh but you're so fine, aren't you?
