As I look at you, I try to relax. A bleak smile. A nearby child screams. I jump, my hair standing on end. I can't breathe.
As I hear the door slam, my breathing grows shallow. I shrink down behind my desk as I hear the screaming. The god-awful banshee cries. My body trembles as I pray to a non-existent god for Them to not come to my room.
"Are you okay?" I nod, awkwardly laughing. I notice my arms are automatically defensive in front of me.
A hand touches my shoulder.
"It's your fault. Get on the bed!" Their hand, like a hammer. Hit after hit. The already blossomed bruises making each hit more agonizing. Their face contorting with anger. Please stop. It hurts. "You will listen to me! Be my good little slut, you whore!" Their hands wrap around my neck. I can't breathe. Help me... My vision is darkening. My fear slowly fades as darkness consumes.
"Come on, come to bed." My eyelids are heavy, every muscle fatigued. I'm not tired, despite my body begging for comfort. For the warmth of safety. I lay down anxiously, and my mind drifts off.
A dog barks. I jolt awake, a scream emitting from my throat.
I'm sorry! I'm sorry! My eyes pour regret, I disobeyed again. Their voice filled with an unquenchable rage. Their eyes boring holes into my very being. "Stop crying! Stop it! Don't you ever cry! Get to fucking work!"
I nod, a defenseless puppy being whipped on a leash.
I get out of bed, trying to catch my breath. I go to grab a cup of water, but my grip is weak, the glass falls. Shattering glass scattering about.
"Did I say you could break that? Clean that shit up, right now." They throw their glass, then various objects nearby. I'm sorry. I- I didn't mean to... "Don't talk back to me! You owe me for this. You better be worth all this trouble." They growl.
I sigh, exhaustion setting in. I collapse to the floor, trying to clean the glass shards.
Will I ever pick up all the pieces?
Every fractured piece of me, always someone wanting more.
How many more shatters until there's nothing left?
The amalgamation of trauma, making every unexpected noise or touch a twisted conglomeration of fear and sickness.
