Fading in and out of reality, my head rapidly falling and jerking back.
I don't know why I keep doing this to myself.
I can't stop.
The sickness in my stomach claws throughout my intestinal tract. Vision, blurry and hazy.
Euphoria overwhelming. Memory, turning to dust.
I'm blanking out. Forgetting things that happened a matter of seconds ago. I can't stop.
I'm not quite sure where I went wrong. Was it the stress? Was it the control? Was it Them?
I don't know. All I know is now I need more. I always need more. I crave it now.
And all I know is I'm afraid. So very afraid.
Because who knows what I'll become when I run out.
Or even worse.
Who knows what'll happen when one too many becomes too much for my system.
Will I shut down? Will my heart fail on me?
Only time will tell.
All I know, is that I'm blanking.
Blanking from existence.
