No! Because I'm the bad guy.
It never mattered how much of myself I sacrificed, I was still a horrible person.
Didn't matter how many cuts bled,
How many pounds shed.
I was still a waste of space.
All the times I talked through your problems, but never being able to share mine because you didn't want to listen? Meaningless. You all left anyways. Like I was some kind of joke that you ditched because the joke was pointless.
Was I supposed to play the villain arc?
After all, you called me a monster for sharing the truth. But was it the truth? I don't know anymore. You blurred all my memories, said all of them were lies. I don't even know what I am anymore.
You said treat others as you wanted to be treated.
So I should cut them, starve them, kill them?
I know morals say to go against that, but why or how?
Nothing feels wrong anymore, because I was trained, whipped, so that every second of my life feels wrong.
Am I supposed to hurt you? I didn't mean to- I don't know how to act like I care.
Because neither of my parents were ever there.
I was taught that love means pain, and pain is love. That everyone will abandon you if you're never good enough.
Was taught to wear a mask so no one sees what I feel,
wore it for too long and now nothing is real.
