Shoni

Chapter 13

Toni's POV Today is July 11th

It's been a few days since my big blow up and things have been kind of tense, I apologized to Marty so were cool but Leah hasn't been talking to anyone especially not me, and to top it off Shelby has been weirdly quiet this morning.

I have decided I am gonna be the bigger person I am gonna talk to Leah first " Hey Leah can we talk?" I ask 

"yeah sure." she responds with a confused look on her face

"So what's up?" Leah asks

"I just wanted to apologize for going off on you the other day, I understand why you might be suspicious, I mean this whole situation is really crazy ." I say to Leah 

"No I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that stuff I am just like confused and petty... so petty." Leah said with a chuckle 

"Listen, Leah I get it but we all have to stop going off on each other and next time you think something is weird just calmly tell the group about it and we would all be a lot more understanding than we are when you start randomly accusing people." I tell Leah 

"I know it's just the ideas come in my head and I try to hold them back but they eat me alive." Leah explains

I just nod in response then tilt my head towards the other girls implying we should go back over to them. I walk over to Shelby who seems upset, she is sitting by herself playing with her cross neckless. 

"Hey, Shelb's you okay?" I ask

she just looked up at me gave me a light smile and nod. I decided to sit down next to her. 

" Babe seriously what's wrong?" I ask again 

Shelby's POV Today is July 11th Becca's birthday 

I can't get her or the horrible things I said to her out of my head, it's usually like this on dates related to Becca but for some reason, it is so much worse this year I feel like I could break out in tears at any moment.

"Really Toni I'm fine, I'm just tired." I say softly 

She gives me a look that tells me she knows I'm lying. 

"Alright come on." Toni says while reaching out her hand for me to grab

"Where are we going?" I ask

"You know where we are going," Toni replies with a chuckle 

Once we reach the lychee tree Toni sits down and drags me down with her.

"Listen nobody else is here okay, so if you wanna talk about whatever is going on you can but if you would rather just sit we can do that too." Toni says 

Toni always seems to know exactly what I need and exactly how I feel even if I try to hide it from her.  I don't want to talk about Becca not yet at least, right now all I want is for Toni to hold me. I grab her arm throw it around be and bury myself into her chest. We stayed there in comfortable silence for a while then thoughts of Becca started to cloud my mind and before I knew it I was crying and I couldn't stop.

"Babe, are you crying?" Toni asks but I didn't answer her I tried but when I opened my mouth nothing came out 

"Babe are you okay, what's going on? "Toni asks I know she wants to help so I begin to try to tell her what's going on but I can hardly get it out

"I uh...god I'm sorry I'm a mess," I say between tears 

"Shelby.. It's okay I'm here." she says softly while stroking my hair 

"okay" I say while taking a deep breath 

"Today is Becca's birthday, and she was such a good friend and such a good person and I just miss her so much." I say barely being able to get the words without choking on my tears 

"Oh, Shelby I'm so sorry." Toni says while wrapping both arms around me 

"I just...I wish I hadn't been so stupid I wish I never said that fucked up shit to Becca none of it was true and she didn't deserve it and I wish I could apologize to her I wish she knew I loved her..I" before I could continue Toni cut me off

"Shelby she knew you loved her and she knows your sorry because before all that you were there for her and you were good to her and I am sure if there's a heaven she's up there and she remembers you that way." Toni tells me while still holding me tightly

I'm glad Toni said that because honestly, I had stopped thinking about all the good times Becca and I had and only thought about the awful thing I did.

"Thank you so much, Toni I love you." I say as my tears begin to slow down 

"yeah of course, now it's getting dark and the girls are probably wondering where we are." Toni says I just nod in agreement as she gets up and reaches out her hand for me to grab 

We walk hand and hand all the way back to camp and see all the girls sitting around the fire.

Toni's POV

"Where were you guys?" Fatin asks with a suggestive wink 

"None of your bussnis." I say with a snarky smile which makes Fatin and Shelby giggle 

I walk Shelby over to the fire and we take next Martha and Rachel, Shelby scoots towards me then lays her head in my lap, as I stroke her hair she starts falling asleep. a little while later everyone else has passed out one by one, Martha was cuddled up with Marcus and Rachel was on the other side of her then across from us Leah had her head on Fatins legs and Fatin was laying next to Dot. I decided I should get some sleep too so I lightly roll Shelby off of me and lay down.

*crying noise* 

I wake up abruptly when I hear someone crying so I turn over and see Shelby half awake half asleep crying and shaking in fear. so I lightly hold her head in my lap and try to calm her down.

"Shelby it's me, your safe, it's okay." I tell her

"To- Toni" She says through tears as she starts to wake up 

"yeah it's me you were having a bad dream but it was just a dream okay." I say while gently stroking her hair 

her breathing begins to slow as she buries herself into me but she's still lightly crying. so I spent the rest of the night telling her 

"I love you."

"It's okay."

"I'm here."

repeatably until she fell back asleep 

Writer- Hey guys thank you so much for reading hope you liked this chapter btw I got the inspiration for some of the last part of this chapter from the writer Tykia Jackson, go check out their Shoni fanfic it's really good xoxo.