Shoni

Chapter 26

August 5th (AKA the first day at the bunkers) from Martha's POV 

when we get off the plane, I breathe a sigh of relief it's like I have been running off of peer adrenaline forever now and I can finally crash. When I get to my room I run straight toward the bed and jump under the covers. I can feel the heaviness in my eyes and I want to sleep but for some reason, I just can't. Every time I close my eyes I see the goat or something else I hurt. It's like I did all these things, meet all these people, and changed in so many ways but at the end of the day am I any stronger than I was before, or did I just lose all sense of compassion and empathy? Did I become a monster just like him? I wanna tell myself I did what I had to do to survive but deep down I know that if I would throw my morals out the window so easily then I'm not a good person. For hours I sit and think not able to sleep and eventually I hear a knock on my door. 

"Hello Martha it's Dr. Faber I have some food for you and I wanted to talk about the plan for tomorrow" Faber says 

I go to reply but..I..I can't, I'm too drained, too weak, too- I just can't. 

"Martha" he says again 

"Hey, I'm getting a little worried out here so I'm gonna come in." He tells me 

After a few seconds Faber enters, he sits at the end of my bed and looks at me and I can see his lips moving, I can tell he is trying to talk to me but I can't hear him. All his words are muffled over my thoughts. I'm stuck I'm just stuck I can't move I can't speak I can't feel. I look down and see him shaking me but I don't really even feel his hand. 

DAY 2

I'm not sure how much time has gone by, I assume it's been a while though because a bunch of nurses and people have come in and out of my room and I have been taken all around but the building. But the only real way I can even tell how long it's been is because as the time goes on I slip more out of my body and into my thoughts. Eventually, though I am moved to what I assume is the hospital area of the building. I'm hooked up to machines and a light is being flashed in my eyes, and as much as I want to tell them I'm here, I'm okay.. I can't because I'm not..I'm really not. Then a new lady I don't recognize approaches me.

"Hello Martha I'm a physiatrist, I'm here to help you."

It's hard to process what she's saying but I can tell she wants to help me and I'm gonna let her.

Hey guys, so.. we had a little Martha going Manic moment. I promise to update again this weekend! Thank you so much for reading! XOXO