Once A Lost Girl | Once Upon A Time Story | Peter Pan

03x09 - If He Bleeds - Present

        "Henry," Regina trailed. She waved a hand over his body. "A preservation spell. It'll keep him in this state for a while. Buy us time to get to Pan."

        I failed. I messed up again. I said I was gonna save him. I was going to keep him safe. Here we are. Pan never fails. This time, this time he will. I'll make sure he fails. I don't care if I have to rip the heart back out myself. He's not leaving this island.

        "--tell me what's enough. My son is dying!" Regina yelled, pulling me out of my thoughts.

        "Our son. So, yes, I know how you feel," Emma was trying to talk Regina down. I curled my hand into a fist, noticing my fingertips felt wet.

        "You have no idea what I feel. You have your parents. You have this--" she motioned to Neal. "--person; a pirate who pines for you. You have everything and yet you claim to know what I feel?" Regina's voice broke, tears forming in her eyes. "All I have is Henry and I'm not about to lose him because he is everything." I rolled my eyes, ignoring the feeling of my heart shattering again. I'm never enough. I shoved my body through a barrier spell and it's still not enough.

        Emma knelt to meet Regina's eyes. "You're right. I don't know what you feel. So what do you want to do? You want to run the show? Run it. How do we save Henry?"

        "I don't know..."

        "Even if we can find Pan," Neal cut in, "he was powerful before. With Henry's heart? I don't know if we can hurt him."

        I looked at my hand. Blood covered my fingertips, minor burns running up my arms. I finally spoke, tone dark and serious. "We can. I scratched him and he bled." I rubbed the blood between my fingers. "If he can bleed, we can kill him. And I will kill him."

        "Ah, yes. Pan's girlfriend vowing to shed his blood. How noble." Regina remarked.

        "Cut the shit, Regina. I'm the only one who knows where he's going. There's only one place that can protect him if he's this weak. If you would rather waste time prying it out of a Lost Boy be my guest" I stepped over to her, looking down at her crouched body. "Oh, and, by the way: you put your name on my adoption papers, Mother. I didn't ask you to. So stop punishing me for it."

        The room was silent, Regina looking at me as though I'd somehow crossed a line. If I crossed anything it was a line she made for me that she didn't abide by. I won't lie. It feels good to stand up to her finally. Over twenty-eight years of being made small and pushed around. Twenty-eight years stuck looking like I was nineteen. Twenty-eight years of having to listen to a mother who never loved me. I remember when she brought him home. She looked at him like he was her world. I was a mere inconvenience.

        Emma suggested we take Henry back to camp where the Lost Boys are tied up. Then after that we go take Pan. I simply walked out, trotting back down the stairs. They followed and we headed back to camp. That journey was also silent. Regina was a mess, redoing the preservation spell over and over. I felt conflicted. I want Henry to be okay, but I can't ignore the pain I feel knowing she wouldn't be as fussed over me.

        As soon as we'd gotten back to camp, Neal and I made up a little cot to lay Henry on. I bit back tears, but not from sadness. They were from anger. The only thing keeping me going right now was anger. As long as we save Henry, I don't care what's fueling me. Neal and I walked back to the group.

        "We have maybe an hour before the preservation spell wears off," Regina explained.

        "If he's airborne, he could be anywhere on the island." Neal folded his arms across his chest. His tone was even, clearly somehow keeping it together much better than me.

        "An hour isn't much time. I suggest we start looking," Hook said.

        "We don't need to look." I regarded them all, watching them trade glances. "I know where he is."

        Mary Margaret perked up, looking desperate. "Where?"

        "There's a tree in the Pixie Woods. He calls it his Thinking Tree. It's the only place that can protect him right now." I said.

        "A tree--how informative," the Queen said, sarcasm laced in the small spaces between her words, "do you happen to know how we can get to this tree?"

        "Regina," David groaned.

        I ignored him. "I do."

        "Tell me where it is." Regina's tone got sharp, but I wasn't going to let her viper tongue cut me anymore.

        "So you can knock me out, tie me up, and leave me here? Absolutely not. I'll take you to him. I'm saving my brother." The burning in my chest came back. My heart was hanging on by a thread. 

        "Okay, look, we don't have time for this. You're both coming," Emma said, giving Regina a look, "Is that clear?" Regina didn't say anything.

        Mary Margaret spoke, changing the subject. "So what do we do about the Lost Boys? We can't just leave them here."

        "Snow is right," David said, "We could try to take them with us. Give them a home somewhere."

        They started arguing again. I sighed, rubbing my temples. We really don't have time for this. I mean at this point I'll risk going myself. With Pan weakened, I could at least put up a fight. Might even win.

        "Look, guys, the Lost Boys worked for Pan, yes, but the only one you need to worry about is Felix. He's the most loyal. The rest of them, if we tell them the truth, might agree to come with us," Neal reasoned.

        "Ridiculous," Regina growled.

        "You realize it's your bickering slowing us down, right? Neal is right. He constantly lied to and manipulated the boys. He tricked Connor into attacking me and then tortured him for it. Anything you offer them is better than this--and they'll realize that once they know the truth." I managed to keep my nails out of my skin long enough to calm down.

        It worked, though. Regina shut up long enough for Team True Love to offer the boys freedom. Felix fought it, because of course he did. I almost felt sorry for him. Pan had him so wrapped up... More wrapped up than me. As much as I hate him, I understand.

        I led Emma, Regina, and Mary Margaret out of camp, taking care of any brush in our way. Destroying them was faster than having Emma hack them down. We moved quietly and swiftly. The pixie woods weren't hard to find, and with Hook and the rest of the guys keeping any loyal Lost Boys out of our hair, I didn't have to worry about being watched. 

        There's no doubt Pan knows we're coming. He wants fire? I'll give him fire.