Once A Lost Girl | Once Upon A Time Story | Peter Pan

03x10 - Self-destruct - Present

        The sea breeze enveloped me as I sat, legs over the edge of the dock. I should have been cold, but I wasn't feeling much of anything. So I sat, watching the empty bay. The water flowed calmly, the forest just beyond as still as ever. Seagulls cooed above, flying around before diving toward the water. Most of them came up empty handed.

        This was to be expected, really. Pan never fails, he knew I'd notice Henry was acting differently and just told me outright that my suspicions were correct. He also knew there was a very slim chance of anyone believing me. Regina would just roll her eyes. Hook, Mary Margaret, Emma, and Neal would think I'm being paranoid. Gold is so sure of himself and glad to be alive he'd refuse to believe anyone, let alone me, who has no proof. I have no one. I'm alone. Again.

        The soft clack of boots pulled me from my thoughts. I glanced up, finding Hook looking at me. He sat. "Rough morning?"

        "Try rough life," I sighed. He offered me his flask. I declined.

        "Ruby told me what happened with Henry," he started, "d'you wanna talk about it?"

        "What's there to talk about?" I stared blankly at the ripples the seagulls left in the water. "He's afraid. He should be."

        Hook sighed, "Don't say that, lass."

        "He should." I looked at Hook, knowing full-well he had no idea what I really meant or who I was talking about. "He should be. Why wouldn't he be?" He can't control me anymore.

        "Elyssa, you're a good person. Whatever happened on that island between you and Pan doesn't change that. Henry will come 'round."

        I kept silent, turning back to the water. Killian hesitated a moment, observing me. I'm sure he noticed; I looked slight, clothes already starting to awkwardly hang off my body. Hook gently tilted my face.

        "When was the last you ate?" Hook asked. I didn't answer–I didn't have an answer. "Come on, 'Lyssa. You should eat something."

        "I'm not hungry."

        "Elyssa," Hook stressed. I sighed, letting him help me up. "Thank you." I grit my teeth, the thought of food making me nauseous. Yanking my hand away, I started walking to Granny's. Hook accompanied me. I had a feeling he wasn't going to leave me alone until he saw me eat.

        The tinging of the bell felt familiar as we walked into Granny's, but it didn't feel warm. Nothing did. No one did. It all just felt so artificial. The sizzle of burger patties sounded more like static and the menu in my hand felt like it was across the room. My eyes scanned it, but the words never processed. I stared for five minutes at least, begging internally for the letters to form something across the page and nothing. It was almost like I wasn't here.

        But the things that should have been far away, I could hear. Mary Margaret and David were sitting in the corner booth closest to the door, whispering. Neil sipping his coffee felt like it was in my skull. Closer to the jukebox in the back someone was tapping. Just tapping. Tap, tap, tap, tap, rapid-fire like it was the only thing they could do. Their leg was shaking, fingernail hitting the cold metal table I couldn't fucking take the tapping. It was incessant, constant, ever-growing-

        "Stop!" I shouted, glaring directly at the culprit. "Quit tapping."

        "Sorry–" Hook said quickly, turning back around to look at me. "Lass, you need to calm down," he whispered.

        "I am calm."

        "You call that bloody calm? You nearly shot a fireball at Doc for tapping."

        I huffed, plopping back down into my bar seat. "Well, Doc should really be named Anxious-y since he wants to tap all the time."

        "You sound like your mother."

        "She is not my mother and she has made that very clear." I glared at Killian. The pirate didn't even flinch, looking at me like he did when we found out we had to go back to Neverland. Concerned.

        "Whether she is or not, maybe you should talk to her. The Queen likes you more than she lets on."

        "She tolerates me. Besides, if Henry told her what he told me?" I laughed bitterly. "Well, she'll never, ever trust me–let alone love me enough to claim me as her daughter. Project your parental reconciliation fantasy onto some other sad, lonely girl."

        He sighed, giving up for the rest of brunch. Granny slid me a double of whiskey since "you look like you need it". I did. I needed a lot more than that. Quickest way to induce the very awful next-day hangover is combine it with all the sugar you'll be eating to deal with the rest of the pain. I would know, Ruby and I did our time for that one when her curse-boyfriend broke up with her.

        Ruby. My curse-bestfriend. She'd definitely sign off on my poor decisions, right? Even though she's back to being Little Red Riding hood she's probably the only one who has my back. That's something at least. Especially because I'll get to crash at her place and avoid Team True Love telling me to face my problems or citing some bullshit proverb about why I can't drown my problems in a night of fun. It's time I do things for myself.

        You could tell them Henry isn't Henry.

        Sure. Because that will go over so well, me. Let them figure it out. Tonight's about me. I'm gonna get reckless.

Okay, it's shorter, but I think this is where this chapter ends. Sometimes, the fact that anything you try to write after the end of a chapter is nothing you like means you should pull back, and that's fine! Sorry this took forever!

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