Once A Lost Girl | Once Upon A Time Story | Peter Pan

03x02 - Memories - Past

I followed Baelfire closely, vigilantly watching our surroundings. The trees got thicker and wilder as we walked. Moss covered the ground and the air felt damp. To our left was a bush made of only thorns. Curious, I stopped momentarily to look at it. The branch was familiar, but I couldn't quite place where I'd seen it before.

     "Are you crazy? Don't even think about getting near that," Bae warned, "It's dreamshade, one of the deadliest plants on this island. One scratch and it injects you with poison."

    "I wasn't going to touch it like an idiot, Baelfire," I sassed, turning back to him.

    "We don't have time for sight-seeing. They hunt quickly. Pan and the Lost Boys will be back soon," He urged. I studied him for a moment before speaking, asking the kid what was on my mind.

    "You speak like you aren't one of them. How come?"

    "I'm not. Pan says because I can hear his flute that I should stop denying it, but," Baelfire paused for a moment, probably putting together just the right words for his argument. Or maybe, he was convincing himself that it was true, "my poppa loves me. He's just confused right now."

    I felt bad for him. Thinking back on it, maybe not having parents who love you in the first place is better than having a parent who loves you and then abandons you. I've never felt that bond, not once. I've had people pretend and try to use me, but never had I felt love from a parent.

   "We're here," Bae pulled me out of my thoughts as we reached a wood door. He pulled a cord and the door rose, exposing a small little cave. Drawings and tally marks lined it's walls. It looked as if he'd been counting the days and remembering things he'd learned. One of the writings had a P and an S  with a compass in the middle. Port and Starboard maybe? Had he been on a ship before?

   The more I observed the more questions I had. The drawings only gave a piece of each painting and my curiosity begged me to ask about everything. I kept quiet against my instinct so as to keep away from any subject that might be sensitive. It wasn't my place to ask, anyway. I have no reason to intrude.

   He seemed to be looking for something. Baelfire kept rummaging through everything in here roughly. Once in a while he would sigh and I could have sworn he cussed at least once during the whole episode. It wasn't like I could judge him for it. I'm sure if her highness heard me when I practiced alone she'd be surprised at my words. Then again, she swears herself, so maybe not.

    Finally, the brunette rose holding a split coconut, the bottom half held a candle while the other had holes in it, "Here it is!" he spoke in triumph.

    "A nightlight made out of a coconut?" I asked rudely, "how the hell is it relevant?"

    "Elyssa, I told you, Pan isn't who you think he is. I was able to finally figure a way out last night, but I'll need your help."

    "I'll need a little more than 'Pan isn't who you think he is'. He's the first person to not drop dead around me," I said. Bae gave a look I ignored. "How come he won't just let you go? He gave me an option."

    "Did he give you the option here or back in your world?" He asked. I was silent. "I thought so. Honestly, I have no clue what his game is or his past, but what I do know is that he's pure evil."

    "Evil? Sorry kid, I dance with evil back home. Evil doesn't look like that," I countered. Evil doesn't make you feel better.

    "Trust me, whatever evil you 'dance with' is nothing compared to Peter Pan," Bae set the coconut down on a rock in the center of the room, "I guess you'll have to find out for yourself. When you finally realize it, then we can start my plan to get off this island."

    "Are you going to try and find your dad?" I asked.

    "I don't know..."

~~~~~~

    We walked back to the camp and made it just before everyone came back from their hunt. As soon as they had, Bae disappeared into the mess of camp. I sat and observed everything that was going on. Some of the boys sat and talked, others roughhoused with quite deadly weapons if I might add, and the rest-maybe three-were stringing up the day's catch for cooking.

   Pan walked over and sat. Bae's words came back to me, sinking in deeper and making me reshape my opinion of the blonde I had met only a few hours ago. His air now-it felt different. Maybe it was the suspicion but it felt cold around him all of a sudden. I didn't say anything, instead I hid my thoughts behind my observation of the camp.

   "What is it?" asked the blond, "What are you thinking about?"

   "Why only boys?" I said, "how come there's no girls here?" Pan thought for a moment, diverting his eyes and glancing around.

    "Rules. They want to get away from them," he answered.

    "So because women are the voice of reason they aren't allowed?" he only shrugged; I continued, "then how come I'm here? What makes me different?"

    "Because I have a feeling you feel exactly like we do," ever so gently, he grabbed my hand and looked me directly in the eye, "lost. Everyone here-we all feel it. Abandoned by those we thought loved us or that we were never loved at all. Here is a place where we all have each other's backs."

    Sitting there, looking at him. I couldn't help but believe what he said. He said it so sincerely, like he'd experienced it. My heart ached at the sadness in his eyes. Peter said it so softly I'd just barely caught what he said, but that only made it hit harder. For the moment I had forgotten about what Bae said. Peter had my complete attention and it pains me to say that at the time I didn't mind. I was so naïve. Well, I've had twenty-eight years to think about it. It's horrible.

    Yet it didn't stop me, not then. For some reason I couldn't stay away from him. He was one of things I couldn't leave behind with the curse. When I'd asked not to remember, I figured he would've been erased, too. Of course, since fate likes to laugh in my face, I had found the things he gave me in a box in my room, the feelings came back. It all flooded me. The memories I had with him-excuse me have with him.

    I just don't understand. Why do I have to be caught in the middle? I have to save Henry, right? That's the noble thing, but knowing what I know now makes this decision ten times harder. It isn't all bad, Elyssa. Think about it: If he lives, then you get what you want.

    Another way; is there one? Of course there is... right? right?

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