Book Of Realizations

Page 41

246/365

Day 246 of 365

The irony of life.

If I were given a chance to write my younger self a letter, I'd tell her how amazing she is.

I would tell her that she's cute in her curly short hair, her skin is beautiful, she's funny, she must keep being kind to others, even though her kindness wouldn't be reciprocated, she should keep singing and make sure to memorize the piano keys, go attend swimming lessons and she needs to learn to be more vocal and affectionate.

Above all of those suggestions, the one I'd like to emphasize the most would be that she should stop crying herself to sleep. She's too young to be wondering what's wrong with her and what's not to love about her.

I want to hug the younger version of me. While her friends are playing games suited to their age, she was busy crying over someone she's never met. She craved for love and thought she was unwanted wherever she goes.

The last thing I want her to know is that crying is no longer part of her nighttime routine.

The ironic part is that when she was younger, she smiled a lot. Greets everyone that she makes eye contact with, talks a lot and jokes around. Looking back, I wonder how did a kid managed to laugh in front of people as if she didn't bawl her eyes out crying last night? Maybe that's a skill I mastered after years of practice.

Whenever we cry, we feel like we are at our weakest point. What we don't know is that after crying, only then will we able to realize how strong we are for overcoming such pain.

I once again encourage and remind you to be kind to yourself. Because when I started doing that, slowly, but surely, I felt better.

One thing that made things harder for me, I bottled up my feelings. Now that I found the right people who values and protects my feelings, things are no longer as painful and heavy as it was before. The people I share my burden with  may not be able to completely remove the pain, but at least they are here to hold my hand while I endure the pain.

What about you? What's your message to your younger self?

Did you enjoy your childhood? If yes, I'm genuinely happy that you did. If you went through a rough childhood, I know you didn't deserve to go through that. It's not too late to see and enjoy the beauty of being alive. You are here for a reason, not just any reason. You are here because the world wouldn't be the same without your presence.

If you practice self-love, you'd realize that it wasn't always your fault. It wasn't always you who needed to adjust.

Now that I've managed to overcome that part of life, I can really say that better days do come. Everything will make sense again.

If the promising future that awaits me keeps me going, so does the painful past that pushes me further to a better place to be in.

There are thousands of reasons to keep going, but if you ever need me to tell you one, you have to stay longer because you deserve to meet the best version of you.