Frank and Gerard one shots (Part 2)

And

I stood in front if the mirror, looking at my reflection and letting tears run down my face. It had been months since Miles was born, yet here I was. I had just put him down for a nap, leaving me to want to take a shower but I couldn't even get undressed. I couldn't sleep lately, even though Miles was calming down a bit and sleeping more at night. I couldn't sleep because I would have to change into pajamas, therefor having to see or acknowledge my own body.

I used to be fit...er. My body was normal and not.... this. I had been young and stupid and gotten so many tattoos. I didn't particularly regret any of them, except for the Birds and 'Search and Destroy'. I had loved the idea of it and loved it up until a few months ago.

I ran my fingers across my stomach, feeling the small lines that ran up and down it. The And was looking like a completely different font now and the Bird's wings were like a hawks. I quickly tossed off my shirt and wiped away my tears. If someone had told me that I was the only boy in the world to be able to get pregnant... I defiantly wouldn't have gotten tattoos on my stomach. Most women didn't have as bad of stretch marks, and most of them went away, but mine weren't leaving. My tattoos were stretched and my stomach looked like it had gotten mauled by a bear and they were just able to recover me.

I couldn't even begin to imagine how ugly I was. Maybe that's why Gerard left me. That's why he hated me so much, and that's why he had left me and Miles alone. How was I supposed to ever get a date again? One look at my stomach and every guy would be grossed out. The more I thought of it, the more I sobbed. I slid down and sat down on the bathroom floor, crumpled up in a ball.

The pain all rushed over me again. The memory of Gerard packing up and leaving me, telling me he had to go. He came over all the time, he still wanted time with Miles... just not me. We were the perfect couple at one point, then we started fighting. Maybe me having Miles with him was a terrible mistake. We had both known we were falling when I first got pregnant.

But I couldn't even think about that, I loved Miles. My stomach, however, I hated. I had eaten too much during (and after) pregnancy. I was chubby and ugly. I sobbed hard, grabbing the toilet paper and wiping my nose and cheeks. I slowly tried to regain my strength, standing up and facing myself in the mirror again. When I saw my own reflection, I couldn't help but cry again.

I had no idea how long I stood there, but eventually I felt a pair of arms wrap around me. I snapped my eyes open, meeting Gerard's in the mirror.

"Gee.." I chocked out. I didn't care if Gerard didn't love me. I didn't care if I had to get over Gerard or that I had no idea how he had gotten in the apartment. All I could do was push him away and scramble for my shirt. Gerard stared down at me, confused. He had obviously not seen my tummy lately.

"Frank, what-"

"Just go away" I sobbed out and pulled the shirt over my head, protectively pulling it down to cover my gross skin. Gerard hadn't seen me shirtless since I was pregnant. I didn't want him to have the satisfaction of knowing I had turned hideous after he left me.

"Frank, wait"

"Please, Gerard." I looked up at him. His hair was no longer bright red like I had seen him last week when he was here with Miles. It was his natural brown color and it had been cut. It looked really cute on him and I hated myself for thinking that. I was supposed to be over Gerard and here he was, making it harder.

"Why are you crying?" he asked and stepped forward, almost into my bubble. I couldn't move away really, I stood in front of the bathroom wall.

"I'm n-" was I really just about to say that I wasn't crying? He obviously saw me. I hated him seeing me breaking down. He was so strong and collected all the time. Obviously he was so much happier now that I was mostly out of his life. "It's nothing."