Frank and Gerard one shots (Part 2)

Die hard vocabulary

See *, look at dictionary at bottom. Enjoy the ride and keep all hands and feet inside the vehicle at all times.

It was no secret that Frank loved Die Hard. He was a 'die hard' fan for Die Hard, as he liked to say. It was almost like Gerard's thing for Star Wars, but just a bit more extreme.

Frank could watch Bruce Willis do anything. And when he said anything, he meant anything. He had watched all of Bruce Willis' movies and had a particular love for his role in Friends.

But the entire incident of May 17th happened with without doubt- Gerard only wished he'd had it on videotape. They were somewhere driving through Texas in the tour bus with the air conditioner cranked up to high and the windows opened just a crack so it wouldn't let the cold air out, but it also wouldn't trap in the small of complete balls which had raided the bus after a few months. Yes, the tour bus was gross. Like, really gross. It was something you would expect when entering the bus where grown men were living. Not only that, but it was hot. Making the smell steam up and sometimes fog up the windows.

But Mikey tried to keep the place clean as much as possible, which was hard to do when Gerard left his make up everywhere and Ray always found a new place to hide his stash of porn magazines. But seriously, who bought those anymore? Just look up pr0n* on your phone instead of grossing everyone out knowing he liked PlayBoy just a little too much.

Anyways, yes it was hot in the bus on May 17th and yes Ray was probably doing unholy things to himself in the privacy (or lack of) in his bunk and maybe Mikey was busy in the bathroom trying to get rid of last nights burrito. He had learned his lesson even after Frank warned him- you just don't eat Mexican food from strange taco trucks, okay? Especially one that is owned by a very hispanic guy that barely spoke English named John Smith. But Mikey was never one to listen to anyone except maybe his brother. But when Frank told Gerard to tell Mikey it was a bad idea, all Gerard told him was be careful not to burn his mouth on that goddamned burrito. And well, look where he was now. Adding to the funk smell that was the My Chem bus.

Frank was doing what Frank did best, he was watching Die Hard. Even after Gerard complained and said that they should watch The New Hope, but Frank was not watching that again.

If you were to ask Frank, he would completely deny this occurrence and quickly change the subject. If you asked Gerard, he would laugh and tell you about it using every detail down to the point. If you asked Mikey, he would tell you he didn't know cause right about now it looked like muddy Niagara Falls was coming out of his ass. If you asked Ray, he would probably deny everything cause he totally wasn't jacking off right now and Christa didn't let him own porn magazines, so he had no idea what you were talking about.

Honestly, Frank couldn't quite say what happened because he had seen Die Hard at least 200 times and could probably recite the ending credits to you. Maybe it was the heat of the bus? Maybe it was the fact that Gerard's freshly hair dye smell was best thing he had smelt in ten hours because everything else smelt like balls and Mikey's ass. Maybe it was the fact that he hadn't actually jerked off in like three weeks because -unlike Ray- he liked for nobody to know about him doing so and he was kind of louder than he would like. So there were rare times he actually got to get off. And although he he was in his early thirties and didn't get awkward boners like this anymore, a man still had to get off somehow.

Frank didn't know what happened. One moment he was saying his favorite lines along with Bruce Willis than another... well. There it was. Sticking up straight in his black sweatpants that he had stolen from Gerard. Frank had always liked this movie a lot, but never this much. It was the scene where Bruce was walking across glass, which should have made him cringe like it always did. But this time he was just watching the way the blood and the sweat shone off his body and the distorted look across his face. Frank just didn't know what happened. He could feel the fabric rubbing against him when he moved and at first he honestly didn't know why cause he wasn't paying attention until he looked down, eyes wide.