Home Is Your Heartbeat ('Home Is' Book Two - Daryl Dixon)

Chapter 99 - Wonderwall (Oasis)

DARYL

I married me a sorceress. She's nuthin but a mind-readin witch, eh? Just like The Kid 😉

Thought that finally readin Carl's letters might do her some good? Guess I wasn't prepared at all. For the effect it'd have on yours truly as well!

Just makes me miss him all the more.

"Keep reading, Daryl."

Big Sister Nana? Please teach Judith....just like you taught me.

All about her tree and her ten minutes. To always keep dancing like no one's watching. And how to simply....love....as well.

To keep on loving and never, ever stop. To love, not only when stuff is good....but especially when shit goes down.

That kind of love is the most important of all now, huh?

Nate started to stiffen in my arms. Know exactly how she's feelin. Her big 'Point'  is comin, and soon.

Please, tell Dad....that I've always known. And how proud I am. It would've been so hard for him, but he did it anyway. For us and Mom. That's real honest love, too. Eh, Sis?

Didn't want her to fret over dobbin or not. So, I get in first.

"Rick never said anything to us. But we all knew, and pretty much right from the start. Judith is his! And she always will be....no matter what."

Gotta go now, Sis. Cos I've decided to write one more letter.

To Negan.

"WHAT THE FUCK, KID?"  I yelled furiously, while Nate remained quiet.

Waiting patiently for me to calm down.

I'm gonna tell him. That if he's still alive? Then it's only because I deliberately made you lose your aim. On the day of our big fight in Alexandria.

She'd never told me about that  little incident!

Again? It was like Nate read my mind before I could open my mouth once more.

"It wasn't an omission on purpose, Daryl. I was kinda dealing with some other stuff at the time....remember? Besides, what was done was done."

"Yeah, can see yer point. Knowin wouldn't have changed shit. Guess I'm still just a bit....m'sorry."

Yeah, I remember. Almost too late  🙁

Gonna tell him why, just like I told you. Except, I didn't tell you everything. I'm sorry, but I held some big things back on purpose.

Because I saw it, Nate. Saw it on your face and in your eyes. When you aimed your rifle at him.

You had the exact same look, just before the Satellite outpost. It became even worse afterwards. Way worse. And I know too, now. That the battle at Alexandria was like....your final straw?

It was as if deep down inside? You knew. That killing all of his people? Was just plain wrong. And doing it hurt you real bad. In ways that you couldn't control.

Guess it felt like you had to kill them all anyway? So, you broke your code....again....for us. Cos Dad kept telling everyone that we had no choice anymore.

But we did! We always did. Even though our options weren't the best.

I got uber-scared.

That maybe....after killing Negan too? You were gonna give it up for good. Stop doing what you believed were the right things. And end up hating yourself even more than you already did?