Home Is Your Heartbeat ('Home Is' Book Two - Daryl Dixon)

Chapter 63 - Gimme Shelter (Rolling Stones)

DARYL

"I love yer somethin awful bad, Nate Dixon....yer did real good."

My words can only come out in a ragged whisper. All that I'm capable of, after the last hour or so.

But the truth doesn't need to be spoken loudly in order for it to be heard. Does it?

And I know my Baby Girl heard me, alright. Tonight, she did more than real good. Didn't say a word. Simply held me tight, and let me be.

Gave me what she knew I needed....to just feel. And not be alone while I was feelin it.

How I'm feelin right now?

Don't need to tell her that. Cos Nate already knows.

One day, she'll say, 'Talk to me'.  And I reckon I will. I'll spill about everything that happened. What Denise said to me and Rosita. That I'm brave, and....

I sit there on that bench for a couple of hours, almost chain-smokin. And trying not to set the fur bag alight. Whenever a burning butt falls out of my trembling fingers.

After I drag my way through half the pack that Carol gave me, I finally go to bed.

*

The missus came home from her watch. And I curled myself around her chilled body. Was actually able to find sleep for a little while.

However, as soon as the sun starts creepin through the shuttered windows?

My eyes pop open. And the black fog in my head swallows everything up.

Nate was so tired that she didn't even murmur or roll over, when my hand gently cradled her head. Slide my arm out from underneath it. The tips of my fingers ghost over her hair and face. Softly tracing the pale scar along the edge of her forehead....the barely-there one on her cheek.

Skim the darkening shadows under her eyes. Wonderin if they'll show grey again if she opens them?

Before my touch continues down to her lips.

My own mouth lowered softly, but she still didn't wake as I was hopin she would. So that I can talk to her. Tell her what's goin on in my mind. And give her the chance to change it.

Think she'll be the only one who actually can....this time.

"Love yer somethin awful bad. Be good. I'll see yer when I get home"  I whispered into her mouth once more.

Before carefully climbing out of bed, grabbing my gear and closing the bedroom door behind me.

Manage to get dressed. Despite the Mutt's attempt to start up a game of tug-of-war with my shirtsleeve.

Damned dog almost looked hurt. After I angrily growled at him....to fuck off.

*

Wheel my bike well away from the house and then just straddle it, for near on ten minutes. Turning the key ring of Denise's over and over in my hand. While my conscience goes to war with itself.

Know I should stay and be here for when them Saviors come. Cos one way or another?

They're comin for us, alright. And soon. Dwight's ambush yesterday, was just an opening salvo.

He said that our complex looks beautiful. Which means they might've been watchin us at some point. Trackin our movements on and off. Ever since we took down their satellite outpost.

But if they have  been observin us....properly?

Then he'd surely know. That just him and a dozen guys won't be able to do much.