Home Is Your Heartbeat ('Home Is' Book Two - Daryl Dixon)

Chapter 71 - Black and White (INXS)

NATE

"I appreciate your help, truly. But I really should do this on my own. If anyone sees and tells him? Please....I don't want you to get into any trouble on my account."

Dwight glanced up briefly before completely ignoring me. Folded the arms of a dead-again walker on top of its chest, so they won't flop off the trolley once more.

We've been working quietly for a few minutes now in the semi-calm....following the almighty Nate storm.

"It's Ok. No one else comes down here unless it's for punishment. And he won't be back for quite a few hours anyway, probably tomorrow I'd say. We'll have a bit of breathing space to get this done with. And you can do with a break, I think."

"Negan's a sick fuck and you're right....he has to die. But I meant what I said, Nate. He won't hurt the kid and never has done. Those who do and he finds out about it? They pay, dearly."

"He won't tolerate anyone breaking his rules. Yet at the same time, he enjoys a good fight. Almost admires anyone who stands up to him, stands up for themselves rather."

"Push it too far though...."

"And you end up in here?"  I glance around the chamber.

I've already finished scraping bits of brain and skull into a bucket. Now I'm sloshing a mop of sudsy water over the remnants, to direct them towards the drain hole in the corner of the floor.

"Here or elsewhere. Sorry I couldn't get food and that to you these last couple of days. A few things got in the way. Plus my memory is pretty crap now as well. Didn't do it on purpose....I swear."

"It's Ok, Dwight. Don't stress. The elsewhere, is it worse? Is that....is that where Daryl is? "

I whack myself around the head, mentally that is. Just couldn't stop the words from coming out of my mouth. Though somehow I did manage to curb the tone of desperation that wanted to accompany them.

"Not worse. Not much better either just different. He's alive and doing....service."

The breath that tried to fill my lungs eventually stutters its way inside. I blink out another line of moisture before surreptitiously wiping my eyes.

Then I turn to look at him fully.

Have to do that so he can see I'm sincere and not putting on some kind of an act. Can't do that in front of him anymore, he deserves my truth. I know that now as well.

"Thank you for telling me that and for earlier, Dwight. I don't deserve any compassion. Especially after being so cruel....spiteful about you and Sherry. Yet you gave it anyway. Thank you."

"Makes me feel heaps better too. Knowing we're still right about one thing at least, that's for sure"  My smile up at his confused face is as wobbly as it's genuine.

"Right about what?"

"That you're a good person...."

I jumped when he all but threw the last walker onto the trolley and fled with it. Then gaze longingly at the door he'd left wide open in his wake.

Only I couldn't bring myself to walk through it. Just kept staring out for nearly ten minutes.

I know, I know! I can hear your screams in my head....believe me.

This is my golden opportunity to escape, go look for Daryl and get our asses home. And yet here I am. Peering out at the empty corridor beyond as my mop just keeps sloshing on autopilot.