When I'm ready - SUNSUN AU

Chapter 18

At the hospital:

Jake and Heeseung were outside the operation room waiting for Sunghoon. 

The doctor stated that Sunghoon is not in a critical state anymore and will be transferred to a recovery room. He can be visited tomorrow.

Jake was having a guilty feeling in his heart. He saw how Sunoo reacted to all the things that happened, starting from the moment he almost went crazy in the garage where Sunghoon was taken. 

"I didn't know that his trauma was that bad. I should've stopped the plan and just agreed with Ni-ki to think of something else. I only thought of Sunghoon and what's best for him, I didn't even try to consider Sunoo's feelings about this." Jake looked down and scratched his head.

Heeseung hugged Jake as he cried.

The guilt that everyone felt was not their fault. The only one at fault here was the perpetrator who started it all and now he was sentenced to all the criminal charges that he deserved. 

The next day..

Sunoo arrived to the hospital. He was now calm and composed. He was not fine but he made sure that he will try his best to be okay in front of Sunghoon. 

As Sunoo entered the room, he saw Jake. Jake was there all night. Heeseung on the other hand, went home to get some clothes and toiletries for Jake and Sunghoon. 

"Sunoo, I-I'm really sorry." Jake immediately hugged Sunoo. He couldn't even sleep the whole night because of his guilt towards the younger. 

"It's not your fault hyung. If we didn't do it, we might have lost Sunghoon. Thank you, hyung. Thank you for thinking of me." Sunoo patted Jake's back.

A little later, Sunghoon woke up. "Where's Sunoo?" he muttered. "I'm here, love." Sunoo quickly went beside Sunghoon's bed.

"Are you okay now? Does it still hurt?" Sunoo asked as he held Sunghoon's hands.

"No, I'm okay now. You're here, that's all that matters." Sunghoon kissed his forehead.

"We'll give you guys some time to talk. Call us when you need anything." Jake said leaving the room.

Dialogue - Sunoo and Sunghoon:

Sunoo: Love, there's something I want to talk to you about..

Sunghoon: What is it, love?

Sunoo: I decided to see a psychiatrist. I will get some treatments. My parents agreed, too.

Sunghoon: That's good news. B-but why are you crying?

Sunoo: It's just that.. I really love you. I want us to be in love like normal couples do. Without being dragged by some past mistakes.

Sunghoon: We can do that love.. We're still young and we have a lot of time together.. We're gonna do everything in small steps.

Sunoo: Love.. You see.. My parents decided to take me away from the city while being treated...

Sunghoon: What? So you're going to leave? Are you leaving me?

*Sunoo wiped Sunghoon's tears..

Sunoo: I'm going to leave the city. But it doesn't mean that I'll be leaving you..

Sunghoon: i don't know if I can stay sane without you here, Sunoo..

Sunoo: We can make this work, love. I'll come back.. I'll come back and become better. When I do, I'll shower you with love without an inch of pain from the past. I hope you understand my decision, Sunghoon.

Sunghoon: I want to understand.. But do you really have to go far? Can't you just stay and get treated here?

Sunoo: It's hard.. It's hard to be near the place I'm scared at. It triggers my memories. I don't want to hide myself from my fake smiles, love. Trust me, I want to spend the rest of my life with you with genuine happiness but if I stay here, I might not be able to fight and face this problem head on..

Sunghoon: okay, I dont know if I can do this Sunoo.. But... I love you, Sunoo. I love you so much.. I'm willimg to wait for you. I will wait for you, I promise. I'll be waiting here, until forever, until you're ready.

Sunoo: I love you too. So so much. I'm leaving tonight, love.. If the time comes that you can no longer wait for me, I will understand. I'm already grateful that I had you in my life, it was already a gift. A gift that made me want to fight and face everything that's holding me back.

Sunoo held Sunghoon's face gently. He kissed his soft lips and he kissed back. It was a deep kiss but it was full of sadness. Sunghoon felt like it was going to be their last. He was crying as they kissed.

Sunoo pulled out from the kiss and hugged the older tight. "I will miss you.. I will always, always love you." he said placing his last kiss on his forehead.

"Me too.." Sunghoon answered, but Sunoo was already out of the door. He's gone.

"I will always cherish our love. It was short, it was true, it was everything like butterflies.. But it wasn't ready, it wasn't ready to fly."

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To be continued...