Love, Star || Bucky Barnes. the Winter soldier

5- I can't handle change

I can't handle change

Hangin' out where I don't belong

is nothing new to me
I get tired and I get sick

and then I lose the strength to leave

I can't handle change
I can't handle change

Nothing I do is ever good
Nothing I do is ever good enough
Nothing I do is ever good
Nothing I do is ever good
Nothing I do is ever good enough
Nothing I do is ever good

Leave me alone
Leave me alone
Leave me alone
Leave me alone

I can't help but repeat myself
"I know it's not your fault"
Still lately I begin to shake
For no reason at all
For no reason at all
For no reason at all
For no reason at all
For no reason at all

--

16 almost 17 years old

3 months ago she started training with tony, which mostly meant learning how to defeat people without involving innocent lives and other hero stuff she had never learned before.

Tony had felt like a dad to her, one she didn't have at least not that she could remember. One day she was sitting in the kitchen with Pepper while tony was making waffles and it just slipped out, he handed her a plate full of waffles 'thanks dad' she had said, she was shocked to say the least, she went on to apologize a million times.

But tony had just smiled and Pepper had tears in her eyes, the couple saw the girl as a daughter, they had to raise her up and showed her how it felt to be loved.

Tony had introduced her to music and so every Sunday they were found in his music room where a ton of vinyl records were and they would play some while talking.

Pepper teached her how to do make-up, and went shopping with her, they had dyed her blond hair black so she wouldn't be recognized as easy.

But Pepper also helped the girl through her first period, because of the malnourishment from HYDRA, she never got her period there, so when she was being fed well her period started to kick in and Pepper was right beside her.

She occasionally went out, but she was only allowed out with pepper, they did normal things like going grocery shopping or walking in the park discovering all the new things in life

So when the word had slipped up, it wasn't as big of a deal as you might think, she actually started calling them 'mom' and 'dad' it just felt more natural than 'tony' and 'Pepper'

She got a lot of panic attacks which were triggered by random things reminding her of her traumatic past.

She also kept having nightmares. She was afraid to lose control because losing control meant killing people.

She felt sick because of what she had done. She couldn't do anything about it, it had already happened, and now she was stuck with the aftermath.

Most time was spend in the lab where they worked and figured out her powers, they found out she could do much more than just go invisible.

With one nod of her head and tony was laying on the floor, they experimented with it a lot and one day decided to prank the avengers.

She followed tony through the corridors and into the avenger's hideout. "okay kid, this is where you turn invisible" tony told her and she nodded before she was nowhere to be seen.

They had made a plan beforehand, tony would go into the kitchen where the avengers would be and he would start making breakfast while Lexie was going to make random things float until someone would notice, she would make the articles go back to normal and tony would act as nothing had happened.