not who we were -EM
I finally see what she means when she's alone
Right next to me in a completely different zone
But a fault is a fault and a cry is a cry
I've made some mistakes, no I'm not gonna lie
I've seen the world fall apart right in front of my eyes
I'm a victim of myself in disguise, disguise
You said we're not who we were
Part of a herd, part of all the crowd lyin'
We're not who we were but we'll always die trying
I'm sorry sir, but we're not who we were
It's times like these when I try to ease myself
Complexities beyond anyone else
But I've made some mistakes oh I've fallen down
Fallen deeper than level ground
Oh there are flaws in myself that I go around
But the hole's getting deeper and I hear no sound, no sound
You said we're not who we were
Part of a herd, part of all the crowd lyin'
We're not who we were but we'll always die trying
I'm sorry sir, but we're not who we were
----TRIGGERWARNING-----
"are you going to work with us or do we need to put you in that machine again?" doctor Marlo spoke. He was a cruel man one of the meanest doctors Lex had found out. "sir I don't think we should reprogram her again It won't last long like last time" one of the assistants spoke. "right I guess we'll just have to do it my way, remove her shirt" he bouldered.
"no, please no" the twelve-year-old sobbed but it, of course, didn't work and her shirt was removed. "how many times have we reprogrammed you" the doctor asked. "13 sir, 13 times" she spoke with a quivering lip. "good girl, that means thirteen whips," he said removing his belt.
She looked up at the one-way glass she just knew people were watching on the other side and it disgusted her.
Instead of folding it in half, he grabbed the end of it, leaving the metal clasp to meet her skin. She screamed out in agony "COUNT!" he yelled. "o-one" she whimpered before the belt came in contact with her skin again not only leaving behind a bruise but the metal also slicing her fragile skin.
Alex shot up in her bed, tears streaming down her face, her breathing harsh. Her hands clawed at the shirt which clung tightly to her body due to sweat.
She walked over to the bathroom to splash water on her face. She also took a sip of water before looking in the mirror. She knew she shouldn't but she was never one to listen and so she lifted her shirt.
The big angry scars that littered her belly now had a meaning, she finally knew why they were there, and it had traumatized her all over again. lex had to remind her self the past is in the past and that she is not who she was back then, but it didn't help. She couldn't look at it any longer, she needed some fresh air.
And so she made her way to the balcony in only her big shirt and underwear. She didn't care her only focus was being able to breathe, her room was suffocating her. besides no one could see her up there.
She lent on the railing looking up at the stars trying to catch her breath, tears still streaming down her face. the city lights reflecting in her watery eyes.
"Rough night?" the voice scared her and she shot up, she hadn't seen the soldier sitting on the chair. She met his gaze and he seemed to notice the seriousness of the situation and his face dropped but he quickly masked it.
She wasn't in the mood to stand his cocky remarks and decided to ignore him completely, going back to looking at the stars. "they all seem close right? I used to look at the stars when I felt alone, they all seem to have another star nearby while in reality, they are hundreds of miles apart, kind of sad"
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Love, Star || Bucky Barnes. the Winter soldier
Fanfiction"Excuse me do I know you?" she asked shaking the soldier's hand "no I don't think we have met before" Still, they both felt that sense of deja vu ~*~ Growing up with hydra was hard Forgetting everything about it was even harder Because she forgot...
