The Addict And The Shadows

Nineteen - Exposed

I wake up with a heavy weight on my chest. Literally. This big loser's head is on me. His eyes are gently shut and he looks so peaceful. Not for long bitch. I take a deep breath before letting out an ear piercing scream, his eyes suddenly snap open and panic is written all over his face. Okay, now I feel bad. No I don't.

"What happened?" He asks putting a hand on my cheek "are you okay?" I burst out laughing when his face twists in confusion.

"You're squishing me. Im sorry" I chuckle. He groans as he rolls off me and gets up from the bed. His hair sticking up everywhere.

"You look hot" he tells me, making me blush. Im sure I've got drool on my cheek and a rat in my hair but thank you. You on the other hand..

"You look tasty" I tell him with a smile.

"Get changed, we're going to the hospital. You need to get healthy so we can have some fun" he winks at me as I stand on the bed, nearly the same height as him. His sweatshirt reaches my upper thighs, flashing my underwear often. I reach my hands around his neck and jump, wrapping my legs around his torso, he chuckles placing his hands on my butt to 'steady' me but I think he just wants some.

He walks me into the kitchen and places me on the counter, standing in between my legs.

"What do you want for breakfast?" He asks, tapping a beat on my thighs.

"I'm not hungry-" I mumble playing with a loose thread on my sleeve.

"-pancakes it is" be sings before grabbing a bowl from behind me. I think back to last night when we were cuddling, is that too much? I feel like I'm taking it way too fast, I can't sleep in his bed every night and I now that I think about it, I don't want meaningless sex with him. I want to build a stronger bond before being completely vulnerable.

Since I've met Kayden and the boys, they've seen many of my weak points, the side that I never intended for them to get a glimpse of. It frustrates me that all of my closing off to others and months of building up strong walls come crumbling down when I'm around them. I don't want to be like that, this is when people take advantage of me or run.

When I lived with my aunt, I had meaningless flings and sex pretty much all the time. Sometimes it was to get the free substance and other times it was for genuine pleasure and escape from the world for a few minutes. After they found out my parents had died, it'd be over, out the bed. They assumed that I had too much baggage, that assumption was correct.
Is correct.

I know I said that I want to do things right with Kayden but I can't let it get too far. Once he has been with me for so long, he will begin to grow tired, I can't promise that my problems with disappear overnight and forever leave. They will always be a part of me now.

It's not fair for me to trap Kayden into my world. He deserves to be free and live peacefully with the love of his life. And that's not going to happen with me.

"Fai, are you good?" His deep voice snaps me from my thoughts. I look up to meet his eyes and give him a quick nod before jumping off the counter. I notice the stack of pancakes set in front of me and realise I had been too busy thinking to help him with making breakfast.

"I'm sorry, I should've helped" I mutter, widening my eyes as I look along the pancakes and toppings.

"It's all good Campbell" he says, wrapping his arms around my waist from behind. Im going to melt. One sec. snap out of it. I wriggle my way free of his grip and busy myself with grabbing a plate, out of the corner of my eye I see his face twist into an expression of confusion mixed with hurt. Oh.

I continue shovelling a pancake onto my plate and add strawberries and Nutella. I take a seat on one of the stools and begin to slowly cut at the food, the sight of it making me feel slightly nauseous. How many calories is this?

"Faith, are you sure your okay?" Kayden's voice asks from in front of me where he is leaning against the counter. His tone laced with concern. He's making this hard. Do I just cut things off now? No. Shut up brain.

"Yeah, I'm fine" I say, giving him a weak smile. I have one bite of the pancake, bile immediately rising in my throat. Nope. I hop off the stool and wash my plate before retreating back to my bedroom.

Plan of action today : avoid Kayden.
Forget the hospital

Sounds simple enough, simple for someone that doesn't like him. Hint hint, I like him. Agh.

I shuffle my way into the closet and pick out a pair of sage sweatpants and matching sweatshirt, I slip my converse on and clip my hair up. I decide that being in the same apartment as Kayden will mean it will be very difficult to say away from him. The library it is! I have two lessons at 11 and the time is currently 10:48 so I will head there afterwards. You're probably wondering why I have barely any lessons. The reason is that one, I'm an athlete, meaning that some lessons are cancelled for practice and two, this school doesn't have enough teachers (why there is no soccer coach) so half the time, the lessons aren't even on. It's not like I care. Pft.

***

After an hour of science and an hour of economics, I'm finally on my favourite brown love bean bag in the back corner of the library, a book in my hand about a hot mafia boss. Don't judge. We all have read it at some point.

It's around 5:30 pm when as expected, Elijah comes strolling over to my peaceful abode.

"What's up" Elijah asks, nearing closer. I look up and give him a small smile before returning my attention back to the beautiful book in my hands. I'm at the point where she gets kidnapped and he can't do anything without her. Awh. Romance. Suddenly, my book is pulled from my grasp in a matter of seconds. "Why are you avoiding him?" Elijah asks.

Got me

Asshole

"Did he ask you to find me?" I question, secretly hoping he says yes.

"No. He doesn't need to" he starts "it's pretty obvious that you're avoiding him when you left the apartment before me or Mase woke up and haven't come back since. You normally go to class and then back to bed"

Exposed

"Well maybe I just wanted to come do some reading" I say, trying to convince us both.

"Cut the bullshit" Elijah glares at me, crossing his arms over his chest. Elijah is a tall guy, not as tall as Kayden but till huge. I would not want to get on the wrong side of either of those men. They genuinely look terrifying but inside they are as squishy as a marshmallow. "Go talk to him" he warns me before practically storming out of the library.

Jeez, bossy much.

I should probably talk to him. He looked upset earlier and now I feel like an asshole. I'm trying to help him but maybe I should talk to him first.

Sorry for the short chapter xoxo