It doesn't end here !

Chapter XIV

I felt a warm hand on my shoulder and looked directly into Emori's brown eyes. She smiled and wanted me to wake up. I sat on the edge of the bed and started crying. She reacted so quick, sat on the bed too and wrapped her arms around me. She held me tight and gave me safety. "Shhhh Tara, what happened? Does your back or your hand hurt? "I shook my head and tried to get my tears under control. 

"Emori, he... he was here. Right here with me on the bed.'' Now she looked worried. "Tara, what happened? Did you have a nightmare? Was Sheidheda here?" I tried to whip my tears away, but it didn't help much. I could barely talk. "Emori, my dad was in my dream and he said that he is proud of me, but I haven't used the time at all. Years ago, it was my biggest wish to see my dad one last time. Now I got this chance, but I just sat right here on my bed, unable to say something. He was like a stranger to me but still like a part of me.'' Emori took my left hand and helped me to stand. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and stood in front of her hoping she would not think that I was going crazy now. 

She smiled, hugged me, and whispered into my right ear. "Tara, I know what you mean. Sometimes people you haven't seen for years can seem like strangers. And it's normal to dream from people that you miss and wish they were with you right now. You aren't going crazy. You just love your dad, and he loves you. Your dad lives on through you and so does your mom. They are up there, in heaven and they look down from their cloud being more than proud of you!" I smiled and left my room together with her.

Right in front of the door, Murphy was waiting for me. He hugged me too and I wrapped my arms around him. I enjoyed being around my family. ''Tara, I heard what you told Emori and to be honest I also sometimes dream from Jasper. I do miss him a lot. He was my friend. And I know that Clarke still dreams from Monty. They were best friends. You aren't going crazy but maybe it would help you to have a conversation with Doctor Jackson. Emori could make an appointment for you after dinner.'' I knew that it could help me to talk with someone professional about it, so I agreed.

I took Emori's hand and together with Murphy, we walked to the kitchen to bring the dinner to the balcony. On our way we saw Titus and asked him to join us. He gratefully declined. Titus was meeting up with his friends from Ton DC to play cards. Just the thought of it made me smile. But I was happy for him. He deserved some time off from his work.

Having dinner on the balcony was just amazing. We were talking and laughing and just had a great time. Now it was only a few hours without my sister, Lexa and Madi. I really needed one of Lexa's hugs. While waiting for Clarke and Octavia to come back from Bardo with Madi last year, Lexa had been such a great help together with Gaia. I was so worried that I could barely sit still somewhere so they both helped me to calm down with meditations and with many hugs.

I still was super tired, but I wasn't feeling like I needed to go to bed. Especially not after Murphy has opened up with what they planned this evening. It was a summer evening. A special on. It was midsummer. People on earth used to celebrate it and brought this tradition to the Ark where we celebrated it too. I have to admit that I never really celebrated this because I was too young. But now was the perfect moment for my first celebration ever. I was excited.

We left the tower shortly before eight pm in the evening. People were sitting on chairs outside, laughing, joking, just having a great time. I was so overwhelmed by the atmosphere when I recognized Abigail in the crowd. She ran to me and gave me a hug and I had to smile. She asked me to go to the tower, take my guitar and play a little. First, I had no idea why she knew from me playing this instrument but before I could ask, she already explained to me. 

''Tara, Lexa bought the guitar in my parents shop and told us that she is for you. I really wanna hear you play, and I am sure that there are many more people who want that too. Please Tara.'' She was begging me to play but I still wasn't so certain if I really wanted to. I was still trying to decide what to do when another child came to us. She looked like a little version of Abigail what made me smile. '' Tara, this is my little sister Lindsey. She is five years old. She doesn't go to school yet.'' The little girl came closer to me and tried to hug me, but she was too little, so I knelled down and gave her a hug while she whispered into my ear ''Please''. So, I stood up, took a deep breath, and agreed to play for them.

Quickly I walked to the tower and entered my room where I realized that I could walk almost normal again what made me really happy. I took the guitar and again made my way to the two girls. When I came to them, they were clapping their hands. I blushed and really wanted to sink into the ground but there was no way back now. Abigail had searched a chair for me where I could sit on. I took a deep breath and started tuning the guitar. 

 Gently I pulled the strings. This was already a situation I would have loved to avoid so I started thinking about why I shouldn't play one of my own songs. I wrote it in the bunker while we waited for Clarke and Octavia to come home. I wrote the song for a person I had loved. When we were in Sanctum for around one year, I met a boy and fell in love with him. We were really happy together for some time but then it changed. He wanted me to stay with him in Sanctum, but I knew that I couldn't and would never. Madi was the priority and I decided for my family instead of the guy I loved but I am okay with it. I took the decicion with my head and my heart. I closed my eyes and slowly started strumming a few chords. An E- minor chord, an A – mayor chord and a C chord. Singing was one of my ways for explaining my feelings. 

 *''Listen, my friend. Here is the point where the chapter has to end, I still need you. Like I've told you a hundred times and now I am only singing bad old rhymes. No don't get me wrong, I 'm not always sad, play guitar in my bed. But I don't know what's wrong and you're not with me, but can you forgive me for not being the one and I am not breaking down, dancing with fairies now. I never thought about going, but you make me do this now. Maybe it's the best for both of us, who knows that yet. And I have to admit that I do know what's wrong because you're not with me and I am not the one but we're not breaking down, dancing with the fairies now. Listen, my friend I've decided to stop this now, so I am gonna say goodbye and let you go.''

When I finished the last chord, I dared to open my eyes again, ready to hide in the tower but there was no reason to. At least a hundred people, including Abigail, Lindsey, Murphy, Doctor Jackson , Miller, Titus and Emori stood in front of me, clapping, screaming, and smiling. I was so overwhelmed that some tears were rolling down my cheeks. This was the moment I became a real musician thanks to my student and her lovely sister.

This was a night full of magic that I would never ever forget. Even the sunset gave it's best to create the most beautiful atmosphere someone could ever imagine. The way Polis looked in this one night is hardly to describe. I was sure the sky was created this incredibly by my parents and I really loved this thought.

* The lyrics are actually a part of my own first ever self written song. :)