It doesn't end here !

Chapter XXI

When I woke up, I had accepted the situation once and for all and vowed to make the best out of it. I was about to get up when I felt pain in my left wrist. I frightened and started to shake. Gently I turned my palm inwards and recognized a tattooed symbol on my wrist. The sign of infinity. Since the 100 arrived on Earth, I had encountered this symbol from time to time. However, finding it on my wrist scared me.

I sat down at the edge of the bed and looked around. The room had changed while I slept. The butterflies hadn't leave me but the walls were decorated with numerous symbols, which I had already seen on the bronze anomaly stones.

This room did not really make me feel safe but it was my Mindspace so, it somehow was a part of me. A few moments later, I let myself slide back to the ground and finished my painting. It was easy for me to paint the Tower of Polis. It was fascinating and beautiful and somehow special. No wonder it was the centre of the Grounder culture. Once upon a time, Becca Franco's Polaris rescue pod landed there, giving the town its name.

Just as I had finished the final details, I felt a gust of wind on my back. I turned around and trembled. A blue light appeared and a silhouette came out of it. Becca! I ran to her and fell into Becca's arms. She was a stranger on the one hand but on the other hand, she was familiar to me. She seemed a little confused, but Becca still held me tight. She understood that I needed that for a moment. After a few minutes, I free away from her, took a step backwards and looked at Becca for a blink of an eye. She had tied her long black hair into a braid what made her look more mature. She seemed older than in the video we saw. 

Becca slightly smiled at me and then dedicated herself to my painting lying on the floor. "Wow, Tara, you're really talented. The drawing is beautiful.'' She seemed so normal, not like the most famous scientist in the world. "Becca, what..., what are you doing here. Am I even allowed to call you Becca? And thank you so much. Painting is my passion." She pointed to me to sit next to her on the bed. I did so, looked into her dark brown eyes and listened carefully. ''Tara, of course you can call me Becca. We don't have much time so I have to be quick. There are so many things I need to tell you but the time is too short. You have been sent here, into your Mindspace because the computer thought, that you aren't mature enough to fight in this war.

 You may have thought your stay here is the prove that you are dead, but you're not. The computer's just trying to protect you. The others have landed safely on Penance and will be waiting for you there. You have to be patient. You're very special Tara, and I believe in you. Your time will come. I'm very proud of you.''

With those words, the blue light appeared, Becca stood up, hugged me tight and step into the light. A few seconds later she was gone again and I was still trapped in my blue prison. I had no idea how long I was in here or how fast time went by but maybe that's what it was, after all Becca had told me to be patient. I couldn't do anything else than waiting so I made myself a comfortable place on the bed and thought of my guitar that laid next to me a few seconds later. I really loved that about my mind space. It made me feel more like home. At least I knew now that I wasn't dead. That really made me feel better.

I closed my eyes and started to pull the strings gently. I did not need my eyes for playing. My ears were enough. The magic of music was finally in my Mindspace and it made me feel less alone. I do have to admit that all those butterflies around me, kept me in company but it wasn't really helpful. They just hectically flew around, sometimes sceptically watching me. It was still a prison and I was trapped in here for an indefinitely span of hours or days. 

Perspective Clarke kom Skikru :

The evening passed by quickly. The fried potatoes were really delicious and we had a great time together. We laughed a lot and enjoyed the silence on Penance. For a short period of time, I forgot what had happened the last few hours. The only thing that mattered was the moment. Only when we went to sleep, I started to think a lot again. I missed Tara so much. She had been my responsibility since the day she was born. The first two years of her life I myself had been too young to be there for her but at some point, I began to realize that we were connected. She was my little sister, and I was in charge. 

On the day of my father's execution, I had to promise him that I would always look out for Tara and support her wherever I could but I had failed and left her alone. Lexa was lying next to me, she knew that I blamed myself so she turned to me, took me in her arms and whispered to me. "Clarke, you can't change the past, but you can influence the future. I know it sounds harsh and I understand that you're worried, and that's totally okay but I'm sure she's all right. We'll see her again. I firmly believe in this." Her words calmed me down so I kissed her soft lips and closed my eyes. I knew it was up to me to accept the situation. 

Probably all this was just a test of the computer to find out how far we were willing to go. I didn't know it and might never find it out but perhaps it was a good thing. With those thoughts I finally fell asleep. In this night, I dreamt a lot. From my past on the Ark, from Mount Weather, Sanctum and from my dad's execution. I saw the images in my head as clear as never before. I missed my dad. I wished he would have been here so we could try to find Tara together but I knew that he was gone and would never come back and I had to accept that, once and for all. But I knew that I'd love him forever.

When I woke up the next morning, I felt much better. The mist around the house had disappeared over night and the sun was rising far away on the horizon. It was beautiful here. For breakfast we had some berries that were quite delicious and then we started preparing our garden to plant some pumpkin seeds that we had found in the hut. It was a weird feeling to live here without knowing when we could go back or if we even can go back. We had a lot to do with keeping the plants in the garden alive but we also had a great time because we had each other and I knew that Madi was safe with Gaia in Sanctum. 

From time to time I stopped worrying about my sister all the time and only came back to my thought carousel, five or ten minutes, before I fell asleep. Days have passed. I don't know how much time we spent here and at some point, we did not care anymore. Because life was about more than just surviving.