It's Gonna Be Fun

Chapter 9 - Loving & Learning

The guys are looking at me with a mixture of pity, anger, and worry, and I don't want it from them or anyone else. I kept looking at the cars, doing my best to hold back the tears that were fighting to let loose. Stopping momentarily, I rested against a pillar and let my head fall back against it while closing my eyes. The war going on inside of me is giving me a migraine, I just want to be happy and that doesn't seem to be an option for me.

"He loves you."

"I love him too, I just don't know what to do about it." I sighed.

"I can't believe I'm saying this but . . . follow your heart, Kay. I do believe his heart is in the right place where it concerns you. I've been watching him watch you since we first saw him and I can see it all in his eyes. He worries about you, you're important to him."

"My heart and head are in two different places, Hobbs."

"No person or relationship is perfect Kay, you just have to decide if what you have and what you feel is worth fighting for. Do you prefer to be miserable?" He asked.

"I'm not . . . I don't, of course I don't want to be unhappy but I don't know how to move past everything. At the same time, I do love him and I don't want to lose him again. I won't lose him again."

"Looks like you've already made a choice then." he smiled softly. "Rock and a hard place kid you have to decide what you want for yourself and stop worrying about everyone else and their opinions. I can't help you make that choice but I'll be here for you no matter what you decide."

The easiest decision today was picking a car. I asked to have the Pagani lowered and started to modify my ride. It's the perfect distraction while I try to decide what I want to do with my love life. I put all of my efforts into it, all of my enthusiasm and sadly I made all of the mods too quickly.

"Should I be worried?" Letty asked, making me pop my head out from under the hood.

"You have enough to be worried about. Why would you worry about me? Honestly, I'm fine, I just need . . ."

"We're already worried about you but that's not what I was referring to." she said.

"What are you talking about?" I asked, turning to look at her.

"That." she replied, pointing towards Dex, who was in a conversation with Hobbs.

"Oh Christ on a fucking crutch, let me . . ."

"No, no, no, wait a minute. They're both adults who care about you, let's allow them to figure out how to work together without insulting each other every five seconds." she said, holding me back.

"Letty, I need to make sure that . . ."

"Kaylee, you need to let them figure it out and get used to each other. All of us do."

"My mind is a mess so I'm gonna need you to be a little clearer on what you're saying here. I've got a killer migraine and . . ."

"That's exactly what I mean. You're stressing yourself to the max. Being loyal to your family is pushing you to ignore your happiness and we can all see the toll it's taking on you everytime you walk away from him or he walks away from you. Now I can say that I understand how you felt the last time. The difference is he's always been fighting for you, he was then and he is now. That's the one constant in all of this mess. I can see how much it hurts you." she said.

"I don't know if I can forget everything. He almost killed me in his need for vengeance but I helped the people who were trying to kill him, so that doesn't make me any better. Had the tables been turned Dom and I would've done the same exact thing, I mean that's what we were doing the whole time, avenging Han's . . . oh God. We were doing the exact same thing he was." I sighed as the realization of Dex's earlier words and my own really dawned on me, leaning on the side of the car.

"That's why I can't really argue with his logic. We were all avenging someone. Don't push him away, not everyone gets happily ever after and we know that better than anyone could imagine. We've got to take advantage of every shot at happiness we get and milk it for all it's worth." she said before walking away.

"Take advantage of every shot we get. Smart fucking words." I muttered.

She's right and I don't want to waste anymore time. I watched Dex work on his car, focus all of his attention on it but at times he would stop, just stop and look up at nothing. He's not focused, not entirely and I can relate. Looking over to Letty, she smiled at me and nodded in his direction. I walked over to him and he turned my way before I completely reached him. Dex held out his hand and then let it fall, it did hurt a little to see that resignation in his eyes.

"Are you . . ."

Before he could finish his question, I cradled his face in my hands and pressed my lips against his. He wrapped his arms around my waist tightly

"Alright you two! Just because you're getting some action doesn't mean you gotta shove it in my face." Roman shouted, making me smile when I pulled away.

"Sorry." I laughed, turning to wink at him.

"All good, baby girl." Roman smiled softly.

I turned back around, laying my head in the crook of his neck. Dex wrapped one arm around my waist and his other hand cradled the back of my head as he let out a relieved sigh. I know the sound, it's the same one I made.

"I love you." he muttered into my hair.

"I love you, too." I replied, looking up and smiling at him.

"How can I help you, doll?" he asked, smiling as his thumb caressed my cheek.

"You are right now."

"As much as I'd love to hold you like this all day, we do have work to get to. The faster I finish that, the faster I can hold you like this some more."

"You need help?"

"Did you finish your car?"

"Yes . . . mostly." I giggled when he just looked at me.

"Alright, let's finish yours first and then we can finish mine. How does that sound?"

"That sounds great."

I know that he doesn't need help and he knows that I don't need help, neither of us ever do when it comes to cars but as someone recently told me, we've gotta take advantage of every shot we get and I'm starting to do that. All he did was look at my car and he knew what I was doing. We worked in silence, there really isn't a need to fill the void with chatter with us because we always work so in sync. He did find reasons to touch me, his hand over my arm, my hip, a kiss on my shoulder, my forehead, whenever he moved past me. Connections, I found myself doing the same.

We spent most of, if not all of the afternoon between both of our cars before it got dark. There was food brought in and we all ate in our own little world before it was time to call it a night to prep for tomorrow. It's gonna be a very long day. All of the team went their separate ways to sleep in the area provided to us, except for Dex. He just hovered around the cars again. There's no doubt in my mind how I want to spend tonight.

"Come on." I said, grabbing his hand.

"Kay, you don't have to . . . I don't expect . . ." he argued, flexing his fingers over my own.

"I know. Come on, I'm tired so follow me and stop arguing."

"Yes ma'am." he answered with a smirky smile.