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Old Stories

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○First (n.)○

Wishing you were

"We fucked long ago when I was young!!" Harrison yells at me "I don't give a shit!! Now we are even, you killed that guy at the bar, and I killed your old bitch!!" I scream back

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"We fucked long ago when I was young!!" Harrison yells at me "I don't give a shit!! Now we are even, you killed that guy at the bar, and I killed your old bitch!!" I scream back. I tried to leave him by driving away in my car, but he followed. I ended up driving back to Harrison's house in Canada.

Everyone believes that Harrison and I are finally getting along, but I fucking knew it was never going to happen. I can't handle his shit. His mood swings are like a fucking yo-yo, flirting with me one minute and then his old bitch the next.

I parked my car in the garage and shut it. I heard Harrison skitter across the snow and nearly collide with the garage door.

"I killed him due to me hearing him moan and get a boner, it was driving me insane" he shouted getting out of his car. "So, hearing a man moan, drive you insane?!!" I yelled at him walking towards the front door. "YES!!"

Both He and I froze. Stunned, we stopped. I was unable to speak, and neither could he. I pivoted around. The snow fell upon us. Evoking a feeling of solace and sadness. We argue, but we always work things out.

"I am sorry" he said quietly. I had to hold my tears back. I haven't felt so broken before. What are these tears meaning? I never even cried at my dad's funeral. Why am I crying again? I can't describe this feeling. I just want to leave.

"Goodbye Harrison." I said opening the door and running up the stairs.

He shook out of his frozen trans and tried to stop me from walking upstairs. "Where you are going Aideen" he grabbed my arm, stopping me in my tracks. This feeling inside is boiling. I don't even know this emotion is. I just need to leave. I need to get out of here.

"Let GO Harrison!" I snapped back at him. "Where are you going?" He said again. I ripped my arm out if his hand. "Away" I run upstairs as he chased me. I forcefully opened our bedroom door, locked it, and slammed it in his face.

"Aideen please open the door".

"Who is she?" I asked again. He leaned against the door and tried to open the door again. "Aideen please?" He said in a husky sad voice. "No Harrison, who the fuck is she?" I yelled slamming my hand against the door. My heart was pounding in my chest, this weird feeling all over my body.

My body was losing interest in me. My knees weaken, sliding down to my knees. My eyes begin to swell up with tears.

"She was my first" I froze.

"First what, Harrison" I yelled at him. My throat was so dry and sore.

"She was my first one-night stand. I lost my virginity to her."

I knew it.

I don't know why this is getting to me so easily. I lost my virginity to another man as well. Harrison wasn't my first. Neither was I for him. But seeing her drove me crazy. Seeing her touch him, made my blood boil.

The way she pulled at his shirt, He grinned and gave her a wink. All I want to do is shout.

 All I want to do is shout

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The door opened, Aideen. She was on her knees with her face covered. Aideen got up and headed downstairs, passed me. "Where are you going, Aideen?" She was not paying attention to me. She would always tear her hand out of my grip when I would hold her by the wrist. "Where are you going, Aideen?" She made her way to the garage through the house. She opened her car and got inside.

She started the engine and revived the engine as it echoed in the garage. I covered my ears from the noise. The garage door opened, and she drove off.

I looked at her swelled-up eyes, full of heart ache. Then she droves off into the snowy white, dark forest. Its late at night she can't drive in the snow so late at night. I need to get her back and explain myself.

I run back inside grabbing my keys and the ring.

"Fuck Aideen. I am sorry" I mumbled to myself as opened the car. "Okay, Its Okay" I mumbled trying to calm down. I want to be with you. Someday, One day. Today. I want to be with you.

I hopped into my car and headed down the highway. In an attempt to catch up with her. Two hours in, following Aideen's GPS, Jack called. I noticed that it was two in the morning.

"Jack? What is Aideen's location?" My voice wavered. "Aideen is currently at Christiana's home. She doesn't want to see you at all, yet she is secure and alright." I want to go visit her so I can tell her everything. Aideen, please don't leave me like this. We were so happy together. I will see you again eventually.

"She doesn't want to see you - IF I SEE HIM, IMMA FUCKING KILL HIM" I heard Aideen's fragile, crying, voice interrupting Jacks. "Okay Aideen Relax" I heard Christiana's voice over the phone. Aideen was crying, huffing and puffing over the phone.

Having a relationship in this Industry is difficult.

Searching for our lost parts, our home, breaks us all. I had to let her go. I shook and took a big breath before saying, "Okay, I will leave her. But please, please tell her that I adore her." Please, I knew from the stillness that Jack was nodding on the other side. I ended the call.

I drove off the off-ramp over a bridge. There was a lot of ice on the road.

"Someday I am going to be with you..."

The snow was getting heavy as my windshield wipers, were wiping them off. It was dark outside.

"Please don't forget me..."

As they passed by, the white headlights became crimson, aimed at me. My heart. I was feeling awful. As I swerved my car to the left and applied more brake pressure, my eyesight became blurry due to a pair of headlights.

"My Love..."

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