Save me - LevixReader (modern AU)

Twenty five - Flame

Warning contains mentions of things like suicide, depression, and self-harm. Read at your own discretion. ( I do not promote any of these stay safe <3 )

You closed the door of your room and slid down bringing your knees up to your chest. You had come back from the date a bit ago and acted fine while getting ready for bed but now that you were alone you could let it out.

The date went well overall but you couldn't help but focus on the parts about your jobs, money problems and parents. He wanted you to quit your night job but you wouldn't have enough to pay for everything! Then he even said he would pay for things you wanted!

 You already had a hard time living with him and now he wants you to be leeching off him. Overall you didn't care much about yourself but still being independent was very important to you.

You started to overthink everything again and had trouble breathing. You stayed on the floor grabbing your throat to help the air pass without much success before making your way to your bed and dropping on it. You still had a hard time breathing but you were exhausted and fell asleep a few seconds later.

---

You sat up straight gasping for air. Another nightmare. You brought your hand on your mouth to make less noise and pushed the covers off. You felt something wet reach your hands. You were crying yet again.

Quietly walking out of your room, you made your way to the kitchen. After silently rummaging through the cupboards you cursed as you found no knife.

' That damn smartass'

You started to scratch rapidly your forearm while looking around.

' I need something sharp! No, he probably took them all so oh! right!'

You looked into the bottom drawers and finally found it. A lighter.

" Thank god." You whispered and went to the bathroom locking the door. 

You did your thing for a while and it felt dang good. It had been a while and it felt so relieving. By now your whole arm was red and you had had to put your arm under the water once or twice. You placed the lighter aside and leaned on the wall letting out a long sigh.

Which was interrupted by a knock. Your heart stopped.

" Y/n? Are you in there?" You held your breath.

" Y/n? Why does it smell burnt?" You looked down at your arm, wearing a short-sleeve shirt, you couldn't hide it.

" Y/n? Y/n? Open up, please..."

"Darling?"

" I swear if you don't open I'll kick it open." He stated with impatience but concern in his voice.

' He wouldn't right?'

" I would you know?"

You knew you couldn't just wait here forever but you wished you could.

" Ok, better back up-" You reached up and unlocked the door before he would do something dumb.

You looked up with tears in your eyes as he slowly entered and looked down at you. You gave him a weak smile trying to hide the fear that was building into you thinking about how he'll react.

Shouting, hitting or leaving those were the options you thought he was debating about during those long seconds he passed staring at you.

But dropping to his knees and pulling you into a hug sure wasn't one of them.

He squeezed you as if you'd disappeared and you found yourself melting into the hug.

" I'm sorry I-"

" Shhhh it's ok I'm here..." He took your head in his hands and gently wiped your tear. He gave you a soft kiss while pushing the lighter away and helping you up on the bath side.

You kept both your hands squeezed together trying to hide your forearm but he gently separated them and examined your arm.

The whole time you could see him trying to swallow back some tears. He had a caring yet sad look and of course a hint of disappointment you'd never miss to see but there was something else you couldn't understand.

The next few minutes were silent as he took care of your burn. You just followed his hands with your eyes not daring to say a word, scared it would trigger him to get angry or something since he had yet to show you any response. There had to be something he wanted to say yet he didn't and you weren't sure if you preferred it that way.

After he finished bandaging your arm, you opened your mouth to say something but you hesitated and he took that moment to give you a gently kiss and pushed a strand of hair behind your ear putting his forehead against yours gently brushing your hair with his fingers.

He picked you up bridal style and closed the light before heading out. You gave up on talking and let your forehead fall on his shoulder. You cried silently and finally he laid you down, you looked around and recognized the place to be his room.

He walked to the other side and laid beside you. You wiped your tears and curled up your back facing him. You didn't really know what to do but one option floated in your mind and seemed quite appealing. You'd wake up early and silently leave and go to a hotel. That was the current and only plan.

That is until he came closed and wrapped his arms around you. You felt small yet safe and feeling his hot breath in you neck calmed you.

" Sleep a little, I'll be there. It'll be okay. You need some time it's normal to be overwhelmed, everything happened too fast but next time even if it's 4am please come to me. You'll never bother me and I'd rather cuddle than heal you. We'll talk more later, you need to rest, I love you." He gave you few soft kisses and you squeezed his hands as a thanks not trusting your voice. Your eyes felt heavy and without fighting you just let yourself drift away firmly gripping onto his hands.

A/n--

Beep boop hello :D

Ok ik it's been forever sorry but since it's finally Christmas break I'll have time to write more so check out for updates on either this book or my other ones :)) 

I'm not joking please check them out :') I got like 2 other levixreader and one solo leveling and one kageyamaxreader I just started which is inspired by something that happened to me but changed so it ends well.

Anyways share and comment ( a lot I love reading them ) thanks for reading!