Save me - LevixReader (modern AU)

Nineteen - Don't!

Warning contains mentions of things like suicide, depression, and self-harm. Read at your own discretion. ( I do not promote any of these stay safe <3 )

You wandered around the city and ended up in front of a bridge, exactly what you were looking for. You walked to the middle of it and just watched the starry sky. You stayed there for a while not pressing anything as it was your final moment. Final moments, this time without anything or anyone to stop you. A tear ran down your face, not of sadness but of relief it would all end tonight and you were fine with it.

You finally made friends, went to a party, fell in love, and even had your first kiss hell even 2! Still, even with that, all the rest was just too much for you to deal with, and putting an end to it was easier.

It wasn't really a big deal, you never understood people who were scared of death. When you die it just stops, you cease to exist and that's it. You disappear, you won't be sad or regretful you won't be there! 

You passed over the barrier and stood there looking at the water, your final resting place. Maybe one day they'll find your body? Maybe not. Maybe some will be sad seeing you never came back? Maybe not. Maybe your parents will finally feel something else than anger towards you? Probably not. Maybe Levi will resent you? Maybe he'll just forget about you and pass on. Maybe no one will even notice? ... Maybe they will.

It didn't matter anyway, you won't be there to see. 

What if there's an afterlife. Well, then you'll just be as miserable as now. Nothing to lose but a lot to gain if there's nothing.

You took one last good breath, took your hands off the safety gate, and lifted your foot ready to step in your own heaven.

"(Y/N)!" Someone, you knew the voice of screamed. You gasped and turned around to see Levi. You had never seen his eyes hold as many emotions as now, you could see how scared he was as he was running to you.

You got scared seeing him and your foot slipped, you didn't try to catch onto anything. ' Wasn't really how I planned to go down but as long as the result is the same. Sorry, you had to see that Levi but you weren't supposed to be there," You thought as the time seemed to slow down.

You slowly slipping and Levi slowly approaching you his hand reaching for you. He was faster than you and succeeded in grabbing your hand. He violently pulled you to the rail then hugged you tightly from behind. Locking you in his arms preventing you from falling or jumping in your case.

" Don't," he muttered his face buried in your neck. You could feel the heat meaning from him, he probably ran from the start of the bridge to here.

" Levi, let me go..."

" No"

" I'm sorry that we met, you're suffering because of me but please just let me do what I'm here for. I'm not doing this because of you, you don't have to feel bad. Let me die and forget about me."

" I don't give a damn about what you want, I won't let you die!"

You were surprised by his word you thought he would try to comfort you or talk you out of it but no. You turned your head to him, feeling your movement he lifted his.

You gave him a kind smile, " It's not only me, it's also the whole world. I don't have any use here, I am only taking space. I want to be free, I want to free myself from this hell. My heavens are down there. This won't be my death, it will be the start of my dream life. Even if that is not being alive."

" What do you mean the whole world wants your death?! We don't want you dead, I don't want you dead! I don't care if you wish to die right now, I'll make you change that wish! I'll stay by your side and give you a reason to live... Stay with me, give yourself some more time... Please, (y/n)..." There was anger mixed with a lot of sadness and pain in his voice.

You didn't know what to do, this whole thing you never planned on it. This weird deep talk wasn't your thing, you used to keep everything hidden. But there you were talking about your biggest secret. He was the third one to know but the first one to care. Both your parents always kinda knew what was happening but did nothing about it. But Levi, he was doing everything he could to stop you... Why?

" Why? Why do you care and how did you even found me?"

" I looked for you since Friday, and by pure hazard, I ended up here and saw you just in time. I care because... "

" You see you don't even know don't stop me just to make you feel better-"

" I love you," he whispered.

" Wha-

" I love you, and I want to keep you by my side I'll help you get better. Together we'll find a new goal and our place in this world."

You stayed silent. You didn't know how to react. You only met him about two weeks ago and he was telling you he loved you. For one, it was the first time someone confessed to you, and second, why did he like you. What was he seeing that you weren't?

You tried to move a bit but he only tightens his grasp on you.

" I say I won't let you... Please stop..." There wasn't any more anger in his voice only sadness and pain.

" I- I just wanna turn around."

"..."

" I promise," you said and he loosened just enough for you to wiggle a bit and turn to face him. The second you finished turning he squeezed you again in a tight hug. You hugged him back and patted his back trying to calm him.

" Ok," was all you said. He tightens the hug like you would disappear any moment.

" Levi, I- can't- breath-" 

He loosened a bit and pulled back to look into your eyes. He stared through you reaching your soul. It stayed like that for a bit both of you looking at the other, him still holding you.

He nodded and got closer to the railing and you. He put both his hands under your arm, lifted you, and pulled you to the safe side.

Once you got there you let out a breath you didn't know you were holding and your legs gave up making you fall on your knees. Levi caught you a second before you touched the floor then gently guided you down.

He sat down leaning his back on the railing and pulled you to him. He placed you on his lap and held you like a teddy bear.

Neither of you said a word and just stayed like that for a good half an hour. He was just enjoying your presence and the fact that you were alive in his arm. You were enjoying his presence too, feeling good and safe his warm hold. You never thought someone could ever make you feel so relaxed, safe, and happy. 

Right at this moment you wouldn't wish to be anywhere else.

Maybe he could help you. Maybe he could save you from the dark pit you dug for yourself. Maybe he would be the light in your darkness.

You broke the silence, " Levi?" you calmly asked. "Hmm"

" I love you too"

~end of part 1~  :)

A/N---

Hello, my pepitos! Tada! That was the confession! Woop I hope it wasn't too bad I really don't know how to do those annnnnd sorry if the deep talk was awkward. Like wtf do you even say in those times. Anyway so, I tried my best maybe I'll come back later and change it!