LOTR/Hobbit Imagines

Kíli - Ibrizinlêkhê

Requested: yes, requested prompt nr 1 from the Angst list (from my 1k sleepover a few months back woops, guess who looooves procrastinating in this house?)

Prompt: I'm leaving / Of course you are, that's all you know how to do

Warnings: In my mind Kíli and angst don't match but I tried anyways and it still turned into mostly fluff :) This is also a little long for a drabble (1.1k) so maybe ficlet is a better name? Also, in case you haven't noticed, there aren't any warnings really, I'm just trying to fill this space with words.

A/N: Now GYH is finished, and the writing challenges I participated in are over, I finally have time to work on the sleepover drabble requests again in between wip's!

*

"What do you mean, I can't sit with you?"

You stared at Kíli, who had the decency to look guilty for a few seconds before he tried his puppy eyes on you. Unsuccessfully, and that was a first. He swallowed heavily.

Kíli had waited until the last moment to tell you the news, thinking that was the best way to approach this but of course he regretted it now. The celebration was starting in less than an hour and by the looks of it, you would be there shooting daggers at him the entire time.

"Uncle said as long as we're not officially courting you're not allowed to sit at the High Table. It says so in the law," he hurried to explain.

You scoffed and folded your arms across your chest. "You mean the very same law that's keeping us from courting in the first place?"

It turned out that there were a few lines in the law that said that the royal family could only court and eventually marry someone of the race of Dwarves. There were no mentions of other races, like yours.

So when Kíli proudly asked permission to officially court you, the Higher Council shoved that particular section under Thorin's nose. He had no choice but to decline Kíli's request, but not without a promise to his youngest nephew he would look into it.

"You know Uncle is doing his best to find a way. He wants us to be happy," he said. "But you can't change a law overnight."

You knew that. And you were grateful that Thorin was so supportive of your courtship, even though it wasn't official yet. But you hated that everything had to be a secret. No sneaking in kisses or lingering touches outside the privacy of your chambers, you couldn't even hold his hand in public or stand too close to him without causing a scandal.

Not that you saw him much. He was busy with royal duties during the day and most part of the night and after that, he usually went straight to his room to crash on his bed. Which you understood, you really did, but it would be nice to see him more than a few hours once or twice a week.

"So where am I supposed to sit at the feast? I am allowed to come right, or is that also exclusively for dwarrows?"

He closed the distance between you and cupped your cheeks, lowering his head so he could look into your eyes. "It wouldn't be a celebration if you were not there, amrâlimê." (my love)

You couldn't stop a smile forming on your lips. "Smooth, but you're the only one who thinks so, Kíli. And stop avoiding my question."

Kíli let his hands drop at his side and sighed, mumbling something that you couldn't quite decipher. You only had to raise an eyebrow and cock your head a little for him to repeat himself, a little louder this time. "In an open spot if there is one."

"So let me get this straight," you began, your brows in a frown and your hands on your hips and you looked so much like his mother when she was about to give him a proper scolding that he automatically took a step back, "you want me to stand aside, waiting for everyone to be seated and then look for an open spot? Not only in the hope there is one but also knowing for a fact that everyone at that table hates me and rather see me turn around and leave? That's ridiculous!"

"They don't hate-"

"Yes they do! You don't know what it's like Kíli! I can't walk through the halls without the whispers following me or the hateful looks. We might not be officially courting, but they know. They talk. And they take every chance to remind me that I'm not one of you. That I don't belong."

Your voice cracked with your last sentence and you hated it. You didn't want to be vulnerable.

"I-I didn't know," Kíli stammered, his eyes wide. "I truly had no idea! Why didn't you tell me?"

"When should I have done that? You're a busy man, Kíli." A sad smile graced your lips. "But it doesn't matter. The little time we do have together, I'd rather spend it showing you how much I love you than boring you with my woes and complaints."

He immediately wrapped his arms around you, and kissed your hair, letting his lips linger for a while, inhaling your scent. "Still, I should've been there for you. If they give you a hard time tonight, just wave. For Durin's sake, scream for all I care, and I'll come to your rescue straight away."

"I'm more likely to tackle them myself, you know that. But we shouldn't, it will only give them more reason to be against our union. I'm sorry Kili, but if that's how it will be I won't be in attendance tonight."

Kíli scratched his stubble a few times, his eyes focused on something behind you, before he muttered an 'I see' and headed to the entrance door of your chambers.

"What are you doing?"

"What does it look like? I'm leaving."

"Of course you are, that's all you know how to do!"

He swirled around at your words, hurt flashing in his eyes.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Whenever things are getting hard for you, you run. You run, Kíli, and then when you get back after a few hours, you hope things are okay again."

Kíli stood there dumbfounded for a few seconds. He hated that you were right. But that was the old Kíli. Ever since he was with you, officially or not, he matured a lot. Funny what love could do to a Dwarf.

He wasn't going to run now. On the contrary, he was going to fix this.

"I was leaving to go and tell Uncle I can't attend the feast tonight. Not if you're not going to be there. And you were right, they are acting ridiculous about this."

"Kíli, you can't! You have to be there, you're the prince!" you gasped. "Don't you think people would notice if there was an empty spot up at the High Table?"

He blew a raspberry into the air. "The only one of real importance up there is uncle Thorin, and maaaaybe Fíli. But don't tell him I said that. Besides, Uncle will understand. He's not all that bad."

"But you'll miss the feast, the big celebration! The music, the dancing, the food, Kíli! You would do that for me?"

He wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you flush against his chest, his forehead leaning against yours.

"In case you haven't noticed yet, there is nothing I wouldn't do for you, ibrizinlêkhê." (my sunshine)