Typical Secrets

F I V E

I got the few things that I had been using when I was staying over at Jasmine. Sophia helped me get home as well. I appreciated everything the both of those girls had done for me and I couldn't be happier to have people like them by my side. My biggest fear although was going back into the house. I clicked on the door bell as it rang through the door like it always did.

My father opened the door and when he saw it was me, he immediately pulled me in for a hug. I put the bag down on the floor and hugged him back. He wasn't the biggest fan of me leaving the house every time the family dinners went wrong which happened pretty often.
"I missed you, sweetheart." He mumbled.

I had the best relationship with my father but not the greatest with my mother. She never sticks up for me, she just goes behind whatever my dad says and has never been proud of me. She tends to be proud of Benjamin whenever he says a word but I can't control that. He let go of me and gave my shoulder a gentle squeeze. I moved past him and for the first time in a long time, into my bedroom.

"I didn't think you were serious about coming back, thank god." Benjamin said and instantly got up from his bed and hugging me. I hugged back and smiled to myself, he was usually an ass but I think after the whole dinner thing, he saw stuff in another light as well.
"Thank you for taking care of our room." I pulled away and looked around.

"Yeah, no issue." He answered and sat down on his bed. I sat down on mine that almost was beside his.

"I should have defended you but I didn't and I regret it so much. Now that I'm thinking about it, I have so much I could say." He told me. I sighed and shook my head.

"No, it wasn't your place to step in and I'm glad you didn't, they would have gotten way too mad at you as well." I explained to him even though he knew the facts on his own. I guess the both of us share the fear for the elder siblings but there's nothing we can do about it. My dad has tried to step in multiple times when they lived at home but I would beg him not to say anything.

They would just make fun of me like it wasn't bad enough already.

"There was a fight at the school, did you see it?" I asked Benjamin. He used to know that kind of stuff whenever it happened. He shook his head at me and raised an eyebrow while laying down on his bed.

"No? With who?" He questioned.

"Ryder and that jock, I don't remember his name but his hair is blonde and I'm pretty sure he's on the football team." I said and nodded my head at my own words. Ben gasped and took his phone while shaking his head.

"No way? Ryder and Jayson?" Benjamin laughed out and started tapping on his phone, I nodded while not understanding what was so funny about it. "I'll have to ask Kalani, she probably knows what happens."

Kalani was Ryder's niece, she's a sophomore just like Benjamin. Apparently they have a few classes together and get along well. Which is nice but I could never imagine me being nice toward Ryder, he doesn't deserve that. He doesn't deserve any of the kindness that I have given.

I used to be best friends with one of the boys in his little stoner group. His name was Ian and he was probably the best friend I have ever had. Back to when we were juniors, I argued with Ryder, god knows about what. The next day I found out that he spread a rumour about me and Ian. He had told everyone that Ian had 'touched me' in ways I never wanted to think of.

I told Ian when I found out that it was Ryder that told everyone. Ian texted Ryder about it and then Ian told me that 'it didn't matter because it was only meant to hurt me' and after that I stopped being Ian's friend. I just couldn't believe that he didn't stand up for me and just thought about himself. That wasn't my best friend.

Once I had a very bad anxiety attack, I wasn't able to move or talk, just cry. For some reason our whole grade came to the toilet that Jasmine had locked us into and started harassing us from outside. Banging on the door, yelling, kicking the door. All of the cruel things that you don't want to think about.

I had a crush on Ryder at that time. Then I found out that he was the one who was banging on the door, and made his friends do it as well. While I was in there and crying my heart out like an absolute ruined mess. After that day, I was done with him and everything else that happened that specific day.

A knock on the door made me snap out of my harsh thoughts as mom opened the door and stepped into our room. "It's good that you're back, sweetheart. Dinner is ready." She announced to the both of us. We nodded and got up as we followed her into the kitchen.

I took a few potato's on my plate while beside that, some salad. I didn't feel comfortable with eating any of this at all but I had to suck it up in some way. I brushed it off and sat down on the chair beside my brother. When he noticed that I wasn't eating, he looked over at me and took my hand while giving it a squeeze.

"You got this. We won't judge you in any way possible." Benjamin assured me and gave me a soft smile. I nodded as he let go of my hand. I picked my fork up and slowly started eating the potatoes that was on my plate. You got this. Come on. They won't judge you. They won't judge you.

My brother was the best guy I had ever met. He was respectful towards everyone. Sometimes he was a little bitchy and decides to fight with me... yes... physical fights. It would be weird if we didn't fight. Everyone knows that I'm the one that gives him bruises.

But overall, he was the best. He was so caring and always took care of me even though it's supposed to be the other way around. I just know that the future has something good prepared for him, good people deserve good things in life.

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