Typical Secrets

F O U R T E E N

Most people enjoy weekends, I don't. When I came home after getting suspended, my parents yelled at me while telling me how disappointed they were. Not a shocker. My parents don't love the idea of grounding us, I have never been grounded before. At that moment, I thought they would.

But they didn't, and thank god for that. I would go crazy in this house. Most of the time I was forced to sit in the living room with them and watch a bad movie to make up for the damages I had done. Apparently. I don't feel like I did anything wrong, because I didn't.

I looked at the screen and looked back over at my father, he shot me a smile. I smiled back and looked down afterward. I wasn't speaking with my mother after the episode in the kitchen. She's the one who started the silence treatment, which isn't my fault. People choose stupid things and then it doesn't matter what happens after. The happiness is already destroyed.

"I talked to Hailey over the phone yesterday. She says she wants to sort things out with you." Dad said. She does this every time, it's like a never-ending story. She body shames me, insults me, then begs for me to forgive her. I'm tired of watching history repeat itself.

"Dad... about that—" the doorbell started ringing. I sighed and got up from the couch while walking out to the hallway. I was so close to telling him about the messages. I unlocked the door and swung it open. "Hi," Ryder said. I began wondering, how do I look? Is my hair pretty enough? And then I started wondering, why am I thinking about this?

"Are you grounded? I hope not because then my plans are going to waste." He smiled. I looked behind me and saw my younger brother standing there. "Just go, I'll cover up for you."

I smiled, harder than ever. I grabbed my coat and wrapped it tight around my body, and then slid my feet down into my shoes. I stepped out of the doorframe and slowly closed it behind me, hoping it wouldn't leave any noise. Ryder held his hand out for me and I grabbed it as we left.

"Not your type, huh? Why would you kiss me then?" I asked and took in the cold surroundings. We were still holding each other's hands for no reason, well maybe there was a reason. He glanced at me and smiled to himself. I looked down and smiled as well, I wasn't able to keep it away. His smile made me smile. My smile made him smile.

"It had nothing to do with you. It's more Milan and the other guys, I don't want them to start bothering you." Ryder explained. His friends are quite a lot so maybe this makes sense. I'm still annoyed and offended but I don't know what to believe at this point.

"I don't hate you... you know after you kissed me." I said. He chuckled. "Surprisingly." He answered. I have so many damn questions I'm too scared to ask. What is he doing? Why is he doing this? Boys are so confusing, too confusing. How am I supposed to understand what goes through their minds?

"I have treated you like complete shit, and I'm so fucking sorry. I just really want us to start over and be friends if you want to?" Ryder suggested. Friends? Seriously? I hope he's joking.

"Sure, if that's what you want," I answered.

"It doesn't matter what I want. It's what you want that matters." He continued. I rolled my eyes in disappointment at what was happening right now. The silence between us was thick, most of it was the tension that could be fixed if I said something.

"Yeah. Sounds good to me." It doesn't, but whatever makes him happy. My stomach is twisting itself and it doesn't feel good. Why would he kiss me and lead me on just for me to know that we should just be friends? Ryder stopped walking and turned to me.

"God. You are so beautiful." He leaned in and kissed me. I pushed him away and began walking again. "You can't just lead me on and then tell me that you want to be friends and then kiss me! What is wrong with you?" I turned around and looked at him, waiting for an answer.