Typical Secrets

E L E V E N

If you want me to be honest, I don't have a life outside of school. That's how bad my social life has become, especially because of my social anxiety. I can't get myself to text people or ask if they can hang out, I'm too scared of rejection. Not to mention that I hate going to places I'm not familiar with, it makes me feel so anxious and uncomfortable all at once.

I turned to the page my physic teacher told us to and started listening to her reading the page up for us to hear. My leg was bouncing up and down as it always does when I'm anxious, stressed, or bored. I can't help it. The girl sitting beside me looked suspiciously at me and down at the book again. I decided to ignore it.

And then she suddenly said.
"Can you stop doing that? It's so annoying." Her eyes went down to my shaking leg as she whispered it. In hope that the teacher wouldn't hear. I nodded and stopped my leg.

"Right. I'm sorry." I muttered and looked down at the table. I felt so embarrassed about what just happened. I could see Ryder at the back of the class, he started avoiding me after what happened at the library. You know... when he grabbed my cheeks and confessed about him thinking about me.

And also, those cheerleaders were always sitting at their lunch tables, it was almost sad for the girls to be at such a weird table.

I got up when the bell rang and took my stuff, holding it against my chest while not trying to make it fall out of my hands and drop to the floor. I successfully made it out of the classroom and to my locker, but when I tried to open it up I accidentally dropped my pencil case.

I was about to go get it but Ryder walked past me and kicked it away, making me gasp in shock. What the hell is wrong with him? Is it that hard for him to act like a decent person and walk past it?

"You seriously can't be mad at me for not being able to respond! You were confessing something unbelievable to me and I had a hard time answering!" I yelled at him. The people in the hallway looked weird at me but then looked away after a few seconds again.

Ryder had turned around by that time and walked closer with my pencil case in his hands. "I'm not mad at you. I was playing with you yesterday. Trust me, you're the last thing I would ever think about." He assured me. I blinked a few times and then nodded while tilting my head. Ouch.

"Good. I wouldn't want to hurt your feelings since I never think about you." I snapped back at him. If he's going to be as petty as he is right now, I will throw it right back at him. He smiled and twirled one of the strands that were in my face.

"You're tutoring me at my house next time, is that okay?" Ryder asked and blew the hair right back in my face. He seems to be tired of the library and if I don't agree he'll start arguing and I'm in no mood for that. I nodded and snatched my pencil case out of his hands.

He rolled his eyes and turned around to walk away again. I smiled to myself while opening my locker, I took the things that I put on the floor to get to my pencil case, and put everything inside. I locked my locker again and then moved to the cafeteria to sit with my best friends.

"Why do you look so hot today?" Jasmine dropped her spoon down in the rice. I laughed and shook my head, appreciating her compliment but not knowing how to react. I don't mind getting compliments it's just the affection it has on me that makes me go crazy.

"Thank you, idiot. You look amazing as well." I answered and cupped her jaw with my face while smiling. I let go of her and crossed my legs, I wasn't planning on eating today. Not that I wasn't hungry, I just didn't have my appetite with me today. It's okay, I can go without food for a long time.

When Milan and his friends walked past our table, I noticed that Jasmine got eye contact with Milan while Ryder was staring at me but I was keeping an eye out on something else. Was there something between them or was it just a coincidence?