Black Phillip vs. Monster Pig

Monster Pig Emerges from that Cement Block

When Black Phillip got to the cement block he took out his book he carried around with magic spells and shit. Black Phillip got on his hind legs as he does at times and started to say the words he and Senator Organa manifested together to break the cement block. For some reason the cement block said RIP To a Legend: Toby 2005-2014 and Black Phillip was just happy that there was no way it could be Tobey Maguire, his favorite Spiderman.  

As the words continued on the cement block began to shake and crumble and in the center of where the cement block once stood was this massive pig on skinny ass legs just straight up vibing. Black Phillip gave him a cool guy head nod and Monster Pig just sort of grunted and made a sly pig smile back at Black Philip. Black Phillip knew Monster Pig would never be the brains of their alliance but he would work in brute force and he absolutely loved the taste of clowns. 

Monster Pig got on the spaceship with Black Phillip to fly to whatever general colony area of the US that Black Phillip lives in. Monster Pig was pretty pumped to go to America because he was Machiavellian and he heard Americans pretended like they didn't know what that meant while actively implementing many of the ideas and strategies outlined in his writings. Monster Pig strutted off of the spaceship and into the pigpen set up for him. He was chilling in a pile of mud when Black Philip visibly got annoyed. 

Black Phillip sort of bobbed his head and showed off his sick horns until Monster Pig gave him direct eye contact. 

"I need you to kill some clowns," said Black Phillip, slowly, deliberately. 

Monster Pig was more than happy to oblige as he loved killing and he especially loved killing clowns. What many don't know is Monster Pig's victim, Toby, was studying to be a pig clown with the Orwellian Circus and once Monster Pig got a sip of that tea in the barnyard he could barely contain himself before he viciously murdered him. That farmer seemed pretty devastated but what he didn't realize was Monster Pig had saved him from a life of embarrassment at the hands of Toby and his stupid clown dream.

Black Phillip gave Monster Pig a map of where he was to just appear and then make the locals uneasy before he started mysteriously eating the clowns. Black Phillip explained this to Monster Pig as a sort of Freddy vs. Jason set up and that Black Phillip was actively plagiarizing the ideas set forth in that film. Monster Pig had no idea what that meant because there was no TV in the cement block and he had only been left alone with his crippling intrusive thoughts and the sound of the occasional tractor. 

Just like that, Monster Pig was off, he slowly faded from Black Phillip's view and went to the sight of his first killing.