Black Phillip vs. Monster Pig

They Live Deliciously

After Fran Drescher was paid (crypto of course) and left for her VA gig, Monster Pig and Black Phillip just sort of stood there and stared at each other. No one really knew what to do so they all just watched Black Phillip and Monster Pig watch each other. Eventually it got super weird and incredibly boring so Megan and Harry suggested they have a huge party to celebrate everyone getting along and agreeing to meet at overpriced microbreweries bartended by men who dress like they are going to work at a factory but actually cried after washing dishes once in the back. 

Monster Pig and Black Phillip agreed and they all went to the nearest Applebees to get Dollaritas and appetizers that are just heated up in a microwave. Everyone raced over to Applebees and immediately took up the best corner booth and ordered the food that seems the least likely to be incorrectly heated through. Monster Pig was getting absolutely hammered and Black Phillip was sipping on the cheapest cosmopolitan he'd ever put his goaty little lips on. 

The scene was quiet, wholesome even if you didn't fully process that this entire event was to celebrate two villainous barnyard animals who decided to stop fighting each other so they could fuck up other's peoples' lives. After this, they all split whatever dessert you can get at an Applebee's, I am thinking it's some sort of chocolate cake they gave a specialty name to up the price a couple of bucks but it also could just as well be cheap ice cream in a ceramic bowl that was new when Princess Diana was still alive. The group was done, and surprisingly no one got sick on the food or drink no matter how hard the tequila tried. 

Black Phillip and Monster Pig looked at each other with a sort of blank, neutral, expression and then walked out of the Applebees, side by side, as everyone watched, including the waitress, who did not get a tip and was already blowing up TikTok over it. A single tear fell down everoyne's eyes, not because the scene was beautiful but because the cook forgot he was reheating wings in the fryer and the smoke was getting a little much. The door closed and Monster Pig and Black Phillip were gone from sight. From that point forward they did one thing: they lived deliciously.