Black Phillip vs. Monster Pig

Everyone Else Gets Tired of the Drama and Decides to Watch Fraiser

This sort of back and forth went on for months. It was like Trojan War levels of ridiculous except there wasn't an Achilles to go absolutely wild and make it entertaining. It also got super petty. Black Phillip starting calling Monster Pig "gluttonous" and Monster Pig started grunting at Black Phillip in a way that was probably just as inappropriate and petty. All the tumblr. fans usually loved petty drama with inconsequential meaning, however, there was a point where everyone had their fill. 

So, after Monster Pig snorted up a ton of holy water and snorted it out at Black Phillip, the fans had enough. They stormed out of the open field and found the Marriott Hotel from Dashcon. There, they found far more than one TV with an Xbox, but a room of TVs all streaming Frasier. The tumblr. fans didn't know what Frasier was because they had only been watching Britbox and bootlegged streams of Firefly for the last ten years. Once someone explained it was a spinoff, which can be construed as a fan fiction, they collectively lost their shit and engaged in the multiple Emmy Award winning sitcom. 

Everyone was laughing uproariously and the Marriott was finally happy to be paid for an event. Everyone was super engaged with Frasier and watched five seasons straight without moving. During this time, Black Phillip and Monster Pig didn't notice for awhile until they saw a Suits poster where Meghan Markle should be and a cutout of Ed Sheeran with the hair dyed just a shade too red. They were pissed to find out their fans had ditched. Monster Pig wasn't as pissed he wasn't being watched, because Monster Pig usually hides in corners and makes food come to him, but as he may have lost out on some delicious tumblr. fan meat. 

They both started running and hopping in excitement and anger towards the Marriott Hotel. The Marriott Hotel sighed and realized they could never catch a break with this tumblr. nonsense and Black Phillip and Monster Pig stole a car and smashed in all Blues Brothers style and then waltzed on over to the Frasier watching room. 

Monster Pig had never seen TV and obviously Black Phillip met Monster Pig because he was a Netflix goat through and through, however, Black Phillip never had Hulu so he had never seen Frasier. Both Monster Pig and Black Phillip were immediately sucked into the classic comedy of errors often presented on the screen. For awhile they forgot what they came to do and the universe wondered if the classic 90s sitcom had solved their feud. 

Then, there was a scene where Niles and Frasier started to fight and both Monster Pig and Black Phillip remembered what was going on. Black Phillip got up and crashed some chairs. The Marriott began to wonder if this was turning into a tumblr. themed Rainfurrest situation but that thought was so dreadful they pushed it out of their minds. The two beasts began to wrestle (?) on the floor as best as four legged creatures with hooves can wrestle and they like bit at each other and stuff too and fur was flying, Monster Pig was sweating like a pig (because he is one lol). 

The tumblr. fans all circled around and started chanting fight which drowned out most of the sound of the Frasier episode still playing on the TV. There were bursts of dialogue coming through, most specifically when Marty screamed for Eddie, TV's doggie sweetheart. The hotel staff came rushing in as they heard the commotion and three of the wildly underpaid teenagers on staff just walked away because they didn't get paid a living wage to begin with why risk your life for this nonsense. 

The tumblr. fans started getting nervous when they saw the hotel security show up and the weakest members of the group ran back to the field. At least five to ten tumblr. users never stopped watching Frasier because they had gotten so good at drowning out the constant noise and the rest that stayed tried to get the two monsters fighting to break it up. 

One of the hotel staff used to live on a farm so they made a pig calling noise and that got Monster Pig up because he remembered that sound from meal time back down under (I'm guessing New Zealand uses that term too but if they don't let's just pretend Monster Pig had a gig in Australia too). Monster Pig raced over on his freaky little legs and Black Phillip whipped around to realize they had made a mistake. Everyone got kicked out of the hotel immediately and had to go back to the field. 

And as everyone left, the soft sounds of Frasier continued to play on, a subtle glow of the television in the now dark room of the hotel. They all were never allowed in a Marriott again.