Heaven On Fire

Nine

A wonderful fact to reflect upon, that every human creature is constituted to be that profound secret to every other. Before the last month of the year, I flew to Manila. While on the plane, I could see the earth in a wide view and enjoyed it alone. Francis started on his job as assistant manager in one of Hubert's small construction company offices in Alabama. I didn't brought anything in my baggage. In the Philippines, it is a tradition to bring pasalubong wherever you come from. I was about to start in UPMC as a staff nurse but my supervisor called me to start working as early as January. Arrived at 8PM in NAIA. Sinalubong ako ni Kurt sa kuhaan ng mga bagahe.

Sa Santos Manor ako nakituloy para magpalipas ng gabi. Deniel crept into the my room in the executive lounge that night na may dalang hot chocolate.

"Kamusta kana? Sorry, kakarating ko lang. May charity ball kase na pinasuyo sa'kin bestfriend mo," Deniel whispered.
"Nasa sala siya, sa main house. Gusto mo puntahan?" Dahil hindi pa naman ako nakakahimbing ng tulog dulot ng mga samu't-saring isipin, napansin ko kaagad ang pagpasok niya.

"Hindi na. Bukas nalang." Said I.

"I'm sorry if you traveled all the way from Seattle just to help us in our wedding." Deniel said.
"Can I get into bed with you?"

I nodded. Deniel crawled in next to me in the comfy part of the bed. "Tabi lang ha? Baka magtampo sa'ken si Kurt eh."

"Oo. Pasunod na yun dito, wag kang mag-alala. Mawaglit lang ako sa paningin nun, hinahanap na ako eh." Makailang saglit lang, tama nga. May kumakatok na sa room.

"Oh, girl bonding yan?" Napuno ng tawanan ang buong silid.

"Oo? Di ako mawawala sayo! Napakaano mo. Labas! Bawal lalaki dito!" Wala nang nagawa si Kurt sa pagtataboy ni Deniel sa kanya. Ni-lock niya ang pinto.

I told her how I was in the US. That I am one month preggy. Nagtaklob kami ng kumot at nagbukas ng flashlight na parang mga bata at doon nag-usap sa loob nun. "I met him in Pittsburgh," I said, "as the first time I met him I know he's the one. I could feel him under my skin. At kapag tinatawag niya ako sa first name ko, nakakapanginig ng tuhod. Nakakapanghina."

"Teka? Diba may boyfriend ka dito sa Pilipinas? Anong nangyare dun? Niloko kaba?" Tanong ni Deniel.

"No. And yes, may boyfriend ako. Long-term bf ko yun nasa high school pa ako. Di naman niya ako niloko,"
"Kase ako ang nagloko. Di ko na siya maramdaman eh. Malayo na nga. Di pa madalas magparamdam." Paliwanag ko.

"Eh paano yan? Diba nasa US na siya ngayon? Nakipagbreak kana? At yung lalaking naka...alam mo na yun. Anong balak sayo?" Deniel said.

I liked the comfort I felt next to Deniel - the heat of our bodies created and the bond that I've never had. A sister bond.

"Are you in love with that guy?"

"I don't know."

"Do you still love Francis?"

Because the light from the flashlight isn't enough to lighted up the room, she was looking away at me, I said what I felt, "More than anyone will ever know."

*****

The TV show on Discovery Channel aired that early morning in my room on Kurt's was about HOW TO COMMIT THE PERFECT MURDER, announced by the program host. When I go outside, I saw Deniel cooking fried eggs and rice. Oh, how I missed the aromatic fragrance of native filipino garlic. She was still unaware, her focus on what she was doing.

Dahil wala naman si Kurt, pwede akong pumunta sa main house. That guy was so private that even his siblings couldn't enter the main lounge of his manor. I kept my eyes as I walked near to Deniel. When I reached her, I cleared my throat. "Ano yan? Ambango ha?"