Starlight (Yelena Belova and Kate Bishop one shots)

Void

This one shot follows the one where you helped Yelena with her nightmares (so you too still hate each other)
Trigger warning : Suicide attempt, bad thoughts, anxiety.

You were standing on the edge of a cliff, staring at the ocean below. It looked so calm and peaceful, you were sure the fall woudn't even hurt. And even if it did, it would be worth it in the end.

Because this pain would be the only one you would ever have to feel again. After this, you would be free. No more fights, no more loss no more toxic thoughts eating you from the inside.

It was a bit sad to see your journey ending here after everything you had done to survive but you were just too tired to continue.

Your mind was tired, your body was tired your soul was tired. You were strong but even strong people could reach a point when they couldn't take anything anymore. Leaving was the only option you had left.

You took a step forward, feeling the void calling you and silently bid farewell to the beautiful world around you.

After one last breath, you finally prepared yourself to jump, prepared yourself to be free.

That when you felt strong arms catching you from behind and bringing you back on the ground.

" Let me go ! " You screamed, fighting against your attacker. " Let me go I have to do this ! "

" What about partners do not leave each other ? "

A raspy voice with a heavy russian accent and a surprising hint of concern. Yelena. The last person you expected to prevent you from jumping.

" We're not partners anymore. This mission is over. " You muttered. " Besides wasn't it what you wanted ? For me to disappear ? "

" No, of course not ! " She exclaimed. " We surely do disagree on a lot of things but I promised I have never wanted you to die ! "

You turned back and were met by her hazel eyes, reflecting the guilt she was feeling. Shit, of course Yelena didn't already have enough on her plate, you also needed to hold her responsible for your suicide attempt.

Hurting people you cared about really was the only thing you were good at.

You expected her to yell at you. Maybe to tell you that you were stupid, selfish, and careless. Because that was what you were wasn't it ?

But instead, the blonde gently wrapped her arms around your shaking body and hugged you close. No judgement, no words. Just the comfort you didn't even know you needed.

You thought nobody cared about you anymore and yet, there she was. The girl who hated physical contact more than anything. Holding you in her arms after having saved your life.

After a couple of minutes, Yelena pulled away and stared at you. Not because she expected you to give her an explanation but simply because she wanted to make sure you were okay. Again, no judgement.

" Why aren't you lecturing me right now ? " You finally asked. " Why aren't you telling me that I'm stupid for having tried to end my life because life is beautiful and there's always hope, this kind of bullshit. "

" I'm sure you had your own reasons to do this. " She shrugged. " It's not my place to judge you. "

" Most people would. "

" Most people would have run away when I had my nightmare. "

" I couldn't, you deserved to be helped ! "

" And you didn't ? "

Yelena stared at you again and this time, you didn't look away.

" I just..." You sighted. " I always mess up everything so I thought everyone would be better without me. I still do, I'm only a burden anyway. "

" Well that bullshit. "

" Sorry what ? " You exclaimed, startled by her rash comment. " You said you woudn't judge me ! "

" I said I woudn't judge you for wanting to end your life. That doesn't mean I can let you talk shit about yourself like this !"

" Why do you care ? " This time, your voice cracked and a tear rolled down your cheek. " It's only the truth ! "

" No, no it's not. " The blonde gently grabbed your chin and looked you in the eyes. " I promise you it's not. You're not a burden Y/n, you're an amazing and really beautiful person and I'm sorry I didn't tell you this sooner. "

Her worlds instantly made you feel better and your breathing became easier. After a few minutes of sitting side by side in silent, you no longer wanted to disappear.

" Thank you. " You finally whispered. " It really helped. "

" It's okay. " Yelena smiled. " I know how easy it is to get lost in your own head. The lies your brain make up can be really convincing sometimes. That's why it's so important to have someone here to remind you that they aren't real. "

" Like when I told you you weren't a bad person ? "

" Yeah..." She chuckled nervously. " I was too proud to thank you for this but it really helped. Probably more than anything I had tried before. "

Without even thinking about it, you hugged her again and she didn't pull away. It was a long hug, one that meant " I care a lot about you and I'm probably in love with you as well but I don't want to admit it out loud."

" No more attempt to jump off a cliff alright ? " Yelena whispered without breaking the hug. " If you need to talk I'm here but the idea of you crushed like a pancake on the floor really is horrifying. "

You nodded and she held you even tigher. You surely were broken but you had someone just as broken as you were to watch over you. Maybe, if you both took care of each other, everything would be alright.

So this is it. I just wanted to say that if you're struggling mentally, just remember that someone is out there waiting for you. Don't give up on them before they even got the time to help you.