Starlight (Yelena Belova and Kate Bishop one shots)

When you know, you know (2)

"Y/n, can I talk to you?"

You raised your head, surprised to find Hawkeye standing at your door.

"Sure Clint, come in. What's up?"

He didn't reply anything and proceeded to come sit next to you instead.

"You have your worried dad look on." You observed, your smile quickly fading away. "Is there something wrong with Kate?"

"I hum... I think you should talk to her. About this partner thing..."

Clint didn't seem very agressive but you still detected a harsh note in his comment, as if he was mad at you.

A few hours earlier, you had been asked to choose your partner for your next mission, a very important one and... well, you had picked Yelena.

You were afraid Kate would be disappointed but she reassured you. Really, she understood. After all, this was a unique opportunity for you to get with your crush. And either way, Yelena was more experienced so you'd be safer with her.

That's what you told Clint, hoping he would also understand that you made the right choice.

"Did Kate told you anything? Is it what this is about?"

"No she didn't because you know Kate never talks about her feelings!" You could tell he was trying very hard not to yell at you. "That doesn't make it okay Y/n!"

"Jeez calm down!" You sighted. "How do you know she's upset if she didn't actually tell you? Besides, Kate's my bestfriend if my decision made her uncomfortable she would tell me! This mission is very dangerous anyway, really I'm doing her a favor!"

"Right, there is no point arguing with you on this is there?" Clint sighted before standing up. "You're a good kid Y/n. I know you care about my daught- about Kate. I just hope for the both of you that you don't realize it too late. It's not that common to find someone who really loves you believe me."

He shut the door behind him and left you alone with your thoughts. What had he meant by too late? And love? Well, of course Kate and you cared about each other, you weren't bestfriends for nothing after all. Just because you wanted some alone time with Yelena didn't change anything!

You thought about talking to Kate like Clint had suggested but then, the situation had already been discussed. There was no need to talk about it anymore...

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Yelena's Pov:

The campfire me and Y/n had built a few hours earlier was slowly dying, its dim glow weakly illuminating my partner's face as she slept.

I threw a few pieces of wood to revive it and shifted my attention back on Y/n. I knew it was kinda creepy but I really couldn't help it. She was so beautiful and unlike what I let everyone around us including her believe, I did notice it. 

Now, the question was: How come I had never picked up on her (let's be honest here) rather clumsy attempts at flirting with me if I was interested all along?

Rather simple: I wasn't the girl that she needed. Or wanted. I wasn't saying this in a self pitying "I'm broken and she deserves better" kind of way although there was definitely some of that.

I could become better for a girl like her and I didn't know a single avenger that didn't have their fair share of trauma and disfonctional habits anyway. Including Kate. Because yes, this was all about Hawkeye's protege.

She was everything Y/n needed. She knew her better than I ever would, she always put her first and god, the way her eyes brightened when she looked at her bestfriend...I wasn't the romantic type but I'd still do anything to have someone stare at me the way Kate stared at Y/n. 

Okay, that didn't mean anything because well romantic feelings weren't controllable. Bishop could have totally been crazy in love with my partner without her ever reciprocating. Except that wasn't the case at all. 

Everytime we were on a mission together, Y/N got horrible nightmares and everytime they were about Kate. She never remembered them for some reason but I did. And the utter desperation her face always showed when she woke up , before coming back to me and forgetting about it all, told me everything I needed to know. 

The brunette was her person, the girl that was meant for her. And I wasn't going to dive headfirst into a love triangle from which nothing good could come out.

The positive thing was, I didn't like Y/N enough for it to actually hurt. It was even kinda funny to watch her struggle with a fake crush and see how long she would need to realize she loved someone else. 

Or at least, it would funny if her and Kate were in a different lign of work. Friends to lovers with one being an oblivious idiot (sorry Y/n but it's the truth) was a really cute trope for normal people who were sure to get home every night. SAFE.

They had time. All the time in the world. But people like us? Who put themselves in danger and often died doing so? It was an entirely different matter.

In the Red Room and after that, fighting alongside the Avengers, I had seen so many people lose the ones that they cared about most. I had lost my sister, who was without a doubt the human I loved most in the entire universe. I couldn't tell her how much I loved her before she passed and I would be damned if I let Y/n go through the same thing. 

Of course, it wasn't my place to tell a girl I didn't even know that well what to do with her love life but I surely did give her hints.

I was always kinda mean to her, hoping that eventually she would get bored and finally see things the way they were. Except it wasn't working. And I was afraid that at this point, only losing Kate could make Y/n understand just how special she was to her.

Only know you love her when you let her go, they said. For most people, this song was about losing your person to someone else because you couldn't realize how precious they were.

Granted, that absolutely sucked but once again if you happened to be an Avenger...it could also mean losing them altogether. Without the consolation of knowing that they were safe and happy even if it wasn't with you. 

Now don't get me wrong I wasn't saying that Y/n's best friend was going to die. Kate was a good person with a big heart. She was also smart, fast and talented and had actually saved my life more than once because she was an excellent fighter. Except if all of that was enough to protect someone, Natasha would still be here. 

Anyway, once again it wasn't my place to tell Y/N how to feel. I just really, really hoped that she wouldn't realize too late that Kate meant the world to her. There was no going back or begging for forgiveness once the person you loved was gone. Only a dark, lonely desert from which I wasn't sure she could ever return...

Here you go! I know this one is kinda tough on my baby Yelena but I promise I'll write something else after and give her the happy ending she deserves.