Starlight (Yelena Belova and Kate Bishop one shots)

Memories part 2

You sighted, leaning your head against your pillow.

The last few days had been...exhausting, to say the least and you couldn't even remember the last time you had closed your eyes.

Yelena's memories hadn't come back all at once like Wanda had first predicted.

They were coming back in waves, the blonde receiving a new piece of information every hours or so.

Most of it was just pain, torture or abuse, in other words very heavy things to deal with.

Your girlfriend wasn't doing as bad as Natasha had expected. After all, she had always known by the numerous scars on her body that her past had been traumatizing.

That didn't mean she wasn't shaken up though.

Most of the memories came back when she was asleep which caused her to get horrible nightmares.

Yelena was barely getting any rest and even though Nat and you took turns to watch over her, you still had a hard time sleeping knowing the girl you loved was suffering so much.

You were also very worried about two things. Things Nat and you hadn't discussed yet but would necessarily happen at some point.

First of all, Yelena hadn't had any memories of Natasha's betrayal back yet.

She knew the redhead was her big sister but not that she was the reason for part of the abuse she had had to go through.

There were also all the people Yelena had killed. She didn't recall having done anything bad yet and you didn't know how she would take the news.

You were so worried you didn't expect to get any sleep. Your exhaustion quickly caught up to you, though and in less than a minute, you were dead to the world.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
" Y/n. " Someone shook you gently. " Y/n wake up please, I really need your help ! "

You jerked awake and saw Natasha standing with a tear strained face next to your bed.

" Oh my god Tash ! " You exclaimed immediately. " What happened ? Is it about Yelena ? "

The redhead nodded, sniffing.

" She was doing fine and we were waiting for a new waves of memories. When it comes, though, it wasn't just a wave, it was everything. "

" Everything ? "

" Everything, yeah. " She sniffed again. " The murders and also...the part when I left her."

" How did Yelena take it ? "

" I don't know. She ran off before I could say anything. I'm so scared she's going to do something stupid ! "

You patted your friend's shoulder, feeling sorry for her despise herself.

You still hadn't forgiven her for abandoning Yelena but you could see how guilty she felt about it.

All Natasha wanted was for her little sister to be safe, just like you.

" I'm gonna go looking for her okay ? " You whispered soothingly. " I'm sure she's completely fine and I'll bring her back safe, I promise."

Natasha nodded and watched you leave without a word.

You hadn't said anything but the redhead could feel you didn't want her with you.

Yelena was obviously didn't ready to forgive her and now was not the time for a confrontation.

You rushed outside and immediately started looking for your girlfriend.

" Friday, can you tell me where Yelena is please ? " You asked the artificial intelligence. " I can't find her ! "

" Miss Belova is in her bedroom. She seems to be in great distress. "

You thanked Friday before running to your bedroom.

" Yelena, baby, can I open the door please ? " You asked softly, still wanting to respect the blonde's privacy. " Natasha's not with me I promise. "

Obtaining no answer, you pushed the door and revealed a heart breaking sight.

Yelena was sobbing on the floor, an open suitcase filled with various stuff next to her.

" Go away Y/n " She managed to blurt out. " Go away, it will make things easier for the both of us. "

" What are you talking about ? " You kneeled next to her, trying to remain calm and soft. " Are you...are you planning on leaving ? "

" I'm a murderer Y/n. " Yelena stated bluntly. " My hands are covered with innocent blood and I could snap and hurt you at any moment. I won't let that happen. I won't. "

" It wasn't your fault, El. " You tried comforting her but it had little effect. " You were being manipulated just like Natasha. "

You started coming closer to your girlfriend, desperately wanting to give her a hug.

" Don't come near me ! " The blonde shrieked again. " I'm dangerous ! "

" No you're not. " You smiled at her softly. " Getting your memories back doesn't make you a different person Lena. You're still the sweet, adorable girl who braids my hair to help me fall asleep at night. "

Yelena sighted and just put more stuff in her suitcase.

" Whatever, I still can't stay. I don't...I don't want to face Natasha. "

" I understand. " You finally managed to wrap your arms around her. " Your sister loves you but she was wrong to leave when you needed her. And you absolutely don't have to forgive her if you don't want to. "

Yelena's body shook as a sob escaped her mouth and you rubbed her back comfortingly.

" What if we left together huh ?"
You suggested. " Not forever. Just a couple of days, to let you process everything. "

" You would leave with me ? Despite all the things that I've done ? "

" I'm in love with you, El. Wherever you go, I go. "

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yelena's pov

I looked outside of the safe house's window, admiring the full moon in the sky.

It was beautiful but definitely not as beautiful as the girl peacefully sleeping in my arms.

I stroked Y/n's hair gently and she snuggled closer to me.

God I loved this girl. More than I ever thought I could love someone.

I had been so scared at first. Scared of hurting her, of not being enough, of just...ruining everything.

But now, I knew none of this would happen. Because I could never ever hurt Y/n.

She was like a part of me and I would take my own life before laying a finger on her.

I sighted and rested my head against the couch, ready for another sleepless night.

I coudn't handle the nightmares unless Y/n was there to comfort me.

She had been there for me every nights since I got my memories back but she needed to rest now.

As for me, I would be just fine. I was fine as long as she was with me.

I know it's been a while again so...I apologize for that.