HUNGRY EYES || J.JK × Reader ✔

chapter 32 | Trusting

Eventually, she opens the door, but immediately after seeing each other, my heart hastens the rhythm of it,  and I discern the worry readable all over her face.

"Jungkook..." her quivering voice aches me, but I cannot even take her in my arms. I do not even know who needs comfort right now. "Are you mad at me? I swear, and I promise that I thought you knew. Kimoon is your best friend, so I thought he told you about me at least once. Otherwise, I would have let you know and not keep it to myself. I would never have done that, Jungkook."

I do not say anything but enter her room since we could get caught, and she closes the door.

There are many things that I want to say, but I do not know where, or how to start.

She does not speak anymore as if she wanted me to let out a word, but I cannot even make eye contact with her, the sound of her sobs that she is attempting to quieten as much as possible is causing me so much pain.

"Y/n..." I bite my lips and peek at her glossy eyes. "Tell me the truth only...please."

"I am," she holds her hands together, near her chest, seeming deeply affected by this, more than I even imagined her to be. "I'm telling all the truth, Jungkook. I didn't know that he hid it, I never talked about him because I don't like to talk about an ex when I'm with a boy that I like or that we're in a relationship, and I also thought you wanted to avoid this by not mentioning it."

"When did you both break up?" I ask what I know will hurt me the most. "And for how long did you both date?"

"I broke up with him more than one year ago, it was in June twenty-twenty after dating for almost two years," she answers with worse than I expected, getting me to realize that it was just not a short relationship.

I look down and nibble on my inner cheek, the beating of my heart going so strongly under my ribs that I can feel the physical pain it provokes to my chest. I almost forgot this feeling, this one that makes you want to cry your eyes out and wake up to realize that was just a nightmare.

"If you're scared about my feelings...I can promise you that I do not feel anything for him anymore. I broke up with him for a reason, and I moved on, I'll never love him again no matter what he tells me or does, the only one I love sincerely is you, Jungkook, so I don't want you to fear anything because of that past," she explains, reading through my eyes. The fact that she knows about my fears and does her best to reassure me means a lot, but I do not know.

"Why did you break up...?" I question her about something personal. I just cannot help it. I need to know. I need to find some reassurance where I can get it. I need it so much. "I...I broke up with him because he did something wrong. He was drunk, and...he..." her body language exudes some hidden uneasiness. "He made a mistake. So, I forgave him because I didn't want to stay with this anger towards him, but after that nude he sent me, after getting to know that he didn't tell you anything about us, I can't...I hate him."

"Did he hurt you?" I demand more details, feeling slightly concerned about this answer, and the vagueness of it. She tightens her hold on her hands and glances down at my right. She obviously seems to not want to talk about it, but if he indeed hurt her, physically, or mentally by doing something bad, she must let me know.

"It was...a mistake," she shakes her head but lifts one hand up to her face to wipe her tears away. She is defending him, giving him an excuse. This is not good. "It was his birthday, he got drunk, and he was just...very forceful on that night. I told him I didn't want to because he was very drunk, but he kept on asking for it, insisting, and going further without being conscious. It was...scary because I never saw him act that way, and it felt like I didn't know him as well as I thought, and I was so disappointed in him...it never happened before that. Then...since he wouldn't listen and that he was using his strength to get what he wanted, I slapped him...I was crying because of the shock, the panic...and he stopped but got mad like never he did in the past, and he started to bring up my relationship with my best friend, accusing me of cheating on him, telling me I was lying to him and all this type of stuff when he knew I'd never do that to him...but he was so harsh in his way of talking to me..." she snivels but cannot continue, my head feeling empty from all those words I can barely process. "I never felt that way in my life, he never did that before, he was always so caring and loving, but he terrified me on that night, and I couldn't face him again afterwards..."