When All Goes Bad (in editing)

I Have No Name

You want to go. You want to stay. You want to be. You are. You were. You never will be. You don't cry. You don't smile. Emotionless. Yet. You're still beautiful. Please take my hand and love me right. It's all I ask.

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Chapter five

An hour after setting Lux down to take her nap, she's awake. Crying. Great. Picking up the bottle, I walk into the room with her. "Here you go. At a girl" I say smiling. A light knock on the door startles me. "Co- oh hey Niall" I smile.

"Hello. I see Lux is up." He smiles. His eyes piercing into me. "I... I um. Can I ask you a question?" He asked shyly.

"Haha. You just did." I wink. "But go on" I say adjusting Lux in my arms.

"Go on a date with me? I mean I'm not asking you to be my girlfriend. I just... I think. You're really pretty" he said blushing a little. I nod yes and we arrange times and places.

Lou walks in and smiles at me. "Thank you so much for watching her today. Here's today's pay. Tomorrow same time?" She asks. I nod my yes and Niall and I leave.

Niall drives us back to the flats. He asks me a few questions. When we get there Niall smiles and lets me out. I go to my room to rest. I've watched Lux from 5:09am to 3:30pm today and I am tired. I sprawl out on my now super comfy bed.

I hadn't noticed I was asleep till a heavy knock and a worried "Delilah?" On my door from Niall and Harry. I stumble over to my door. Had it really been locked?

I allow them to come in. They look worried. Reassuring them I'm fine they relax. I glance at the clock. "7:30pm!? Why did to guys come get me sooner?!" I ask hopping off the bed and grab a shirt and skirt and run into the bathroom to change.

"Wow" they ogle. "You look... Stunning." Harry says. Niall looks at him as of to say 'back off'. I giggle my thanks. I go to grabs makeup. I put eyeliner on. And then mascara. But that's it. I check the clock again. 8:02. Great. I roll my eyes and walk out my door.

"Where are ya goin'?" Niall asks following me. I turn on my heels thinking quickly. What should I tell him? I would I tell him?

"I'm um.. I'm meeting up with some friends of mine" trying to convince not only Harry and him, but myself as well. I nod and walk off.

I round a corner two blocks from the flat. I knew where I was going. Well, my mind did. My feet however.....did not. I turn another corner.

There it is. I smile. I pull my mask out of my bag opening the door to the clinic. "Hello! Meetings that way" the lovely receptionist tells me pointing down the hall. I nod and walk down the long corridor.

"Miss. Right in here!" A voice hollers as I walk past it. I turn and enter the room. There are other people in the room. I smile, though they can't see it with my mask on.

"Welcome the BA, beaten anonymous, meeting. I'm the leader of the group, Mr. James." A husky guy about five ten says smiling. I think back to the boys sadden face as I fled out of the flat. "What we're here to do is rebuild trust. I noticed some of you put on masks. And that's completely okay. We're here to help some of you out of that shell these events have covered you in." He clears his throught.

I look down at my hands. He starts to talk again. "Now, we're going to share a little. Well start with you there. Miss in the yellow top and black skirt." He said pointing to me. I take a big gulp.

I stood. "H-hi. I'm. I'm. I'm uh" I stutter. He tells me there's no need for my name. "I'm here because I don't feel safe walking outside my flat anymore. He's looking for me. I'm sure he's called my mother to tell her I'm missing. But I just couldn't take it anymore. I felt so small next to my mom. She always towered over me. Telling me I was a sad excuse for a human. And when my dad left, she started hitting me. She flew me here to London the live with her brother.

"He hit me too. I don't blame them... I blame their dad. He used to hit them too." I look down and start to mess with my nails. "He threw me to the ground a couple of weeks ago. And I bleed. So I ran. I ran from him. And I found these wonderful people that took me in." A single tear streams from my eye. "They treat me like I've never been treated. I happy. But I think back to my mom an Uncle and I grow sad. They ask why, I just shove it off." My voice caught. "The people whom took me in. They. They don't know. They don't even know I'm here." I look down taking my seat.

Everyone erupts into a clap. "Thank you for sharin with us!" Mr. James clapped his hands together. I smile under the mask. The next two hours are filled with stories so horrid. So scary. I cry at a few. Those that relate to me. When the meeting is over at 10pm I walk out of the building. Not taking my mask of till I round a corner.

I walk quietly up to the flat. I'm sure the boys are still up. But just in case, I'm really quiet. I lock the door behind me. I notice the kitchen light on and a heated conversation going on. I walk quietly to the edge of the door.

"We promised each other Niall! You and I! We agreed! She was to ask us out first! Not us ask her!" Harry says quit loudly.

"But Harry. She looked so cute with Lux in her arms. I couldn't resist. I just had too! Please don't be mad at me. Please!" Niall almost begs.

"No. I can't believe you. You betrayed me. You said you'd never do something like that. We all did. As a band we promised. You broke not only our promise, but the bands too." Harry said walking off. Shit.

He walks out of the kitchen. I press my back to the wall as he closes his eyes shaking his head and walking down the hall. I hear a hurt Niall shuffle his feet. He shuts the light off. Only then is it I notice I'm almost in tears.

I let out a slight whimper as he passes. He snaps his head back in my direction. "Delilah? Delilah is that you?" He asks stepping closer to me.

I cover my mouth and run to my room. 'Look what you've done Delilah. Split a perfectly happy friendship up.' A voice screams in my head. I cry myself to sleep. Hoping my dreams would carry me off to a wonderful happy dreamland.

They do. When I wake I crawl out of bed and tiredly rub my eyes. I look at my phone. 4:15am. And a text.

From:Lou

Message: hey hun! No need to come today. I got the day off. (:(: stay happy x.

Awesome.