When All Goes Bad (in editing)

She Thinks About It

A/N: I'm always here of anyone wants to talk to me. About anything. If you're thinking about self harm, please, stop. You're too pretty. And I believe in long lives. You should have one. xx

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Chapter Nineteen

Music floods my ears. The soft sound of the piano. Waiting for the soft strum of the guitar I'm holding. I look at Liam. He's waiting for his cue.

'Your hand fits in mine like its made just for me. But bare this in mind it was meant to be.' He starts off so perfectly.

I'm waiting for Lou's cue so I can strum the guitar. 'You can't go to bed, without a cup of tea. And maybe that's the reason you talk in your sleep.' He sings his part. Zayn had already done his.

I look to Harry whom is about to start his solo. 'You have to squeeze in your jeans.' He angelically hums.

My turn. My turn. Now. 'You'll never love yourself half as much as I love you. You'll never treat yourself right, darling, but I want you to. If I let you know I'm here for you, maybe you'll love yourself like I love you, oh'

Harry starts again. 'It's you they add up to' we course in. Wrapping up the song. I smile wildly at the boys.

Delilah wanted to stay home. All my casts have been off for maybe two weeks now. Delilah still has her right leg in a cast.

When we're done Harry drive us back to the flat. Delilah's in the kitchen humming her own tune, unaware we just walked in. I tap Harry's chest to hush him.

'Every night she cradles her head in her hands.

She think about all the words that are said

She thinks about it all the time.

She figures out why she might go

Where will she end up?

What road will she stumble on?

What path would she take?

She will never know.

These are the last words she'll speak.

Nothing more, nothing less

This is her goodbye....'

That was something else. I've never heard her sing before. I was just about to walk into the kitchen when she started again.

'She thinks about it all to the time

The little girl is screaming no

The girl she'll never know.

The boy she'll never love.

She thinks about it all the time.

She closes her eyes and wishes, everything would be alright.'

I wonder what makes her sing like this. It's a perfect voice to match a girl I don't really know. A girl I love, that still hides things from me.

'She eats lunch by herself everyday.

Picked on for the clothes she wears.

Hides behind long sleeves.

Knows there's an easy way out.

She thinks about it all the time.

Should she stay?

Should she take it all away?

She hasn't got any friends.

No one the help her.

She needs a little light tonight,

Show her the colors around here,

They ain't so bad.'

She finishes whipping away a tear. She places the towel she was using to dry the dishes on the counter. I walk slowly over to her. Her red hair covering her face.

"Delilah, I didn't know you could sing. I defiantly want to know why you chose to sing that song." I said without thinking about it. She snaps her head to me. Bloodshot green eyes peering at me.

"I think about it all the time Niall. All. The. Time." She pushes past me and storms to her room. What does that mean!? I stalk after her.

I knock on the door. Wanting her to explain to me. She opens the door for me. "Delilah, let me inside that brain of yours. Please. Before I go of on tour." I beg. Oh yeah. Your starts in a couple of days. And Delilah gets to come because she's watching over Lux!

"Niall," she lets me in her room leaving the door ajar. "All the time. The only thing stoping me, is you. When I first started.... Hating myself, I realized this was the closest thing to dying without actually dying. And when I'd forgotten my memory,I don't think I've ever been happier. You know how my mom was to me. You know what she's like." She's crying now. I sit next to her on the bed. "And... You stop me from going any farther. I've stopped cutting you know. For you. Just for you." She leans her head into my chest. I whip say the stray tears with my thumb.

"It's okay. You've stopped." I smile sweetly at her. "You're a lovely girlfriend, I love your hair," I run my fingers through her hair, "I love that you won't wear a bikini around us. And that you respect yourself, you're scared of the dark, and that line across your forehead you get when you're angry or confused. I love the sound of your voice. Singing or not." I poke her side. She giggles causing me to chuckle myself. "I love how the slightest touch makes you giggle. And the way you smell. And the smells you put in the flat. I love you, Delilah." I kiss her forehead making her blush at what I'd said.

"I know. I love you, too." She smiles placing a kiss upon my lips. She pulls away looking back at my lips. I pull her atop me as I slid into the bed beneath us. She lays across my chest to give me a proper kiss on my lips. I slip my hand under the bottom of her shirt, not wanting to do anything rash. She places her hands in my hair. Grabbing and pulling every so often. WHAT A TUNR ON! I want her. I want to marry her, let her have my kids, and spend the rest of my life with her!

"Oh! Guys gross!" Harry hollers from the ajar door. Delilah giggles and places her head atop my chest burring her face. I pat her back chuckling.

"Go 'way Arry!" I groan. He puts his hands up in surrender, pulling the door completely, 100% closed. I laugh as Delilah climbs off of me to change into pants and a long sleeve. I raise my eyebrow in question.

She shrugs. "Got cold." And walks back over to me. Her red long sleeve going against my green shirt. "We make Christmas colors!" She giggles point to our shirts.

"Seems we do." I smile at her. "Our pants, however. They need some talkin' too." I place a general kiss on her lips.