Somethings off from yesterday
I can feel it deep inside my head
But it's nothing I can put a finger on
So I just get ready like I always do
I idle over to the bathroom
Set my clothes down on the counter
The same raggedy jacket and baggy jeans
I've worn since the eighth grade
New mission unlocked: Better clothes
The voice rang clear in my mind
This isn't a surprise to me, either
The list has been growing my whole life
A pile of missions I'm meant to overcome
I haven't gotten past a single one yet
I smile sadly and look up at the mirror
Growing foggy from the shower steam
I wipe away some of the condensation
And see me staring into my own eyes
A familiar face- unfortunate as it is
I see him every morning and every night
And he stares back and judges me
I hate him exactly as much as he hates me
Today my eyes seem smaller than usual
I didn't get a lot of sleep last night
Staying up helping someone I know
Earn an achievement of their own
The trophy icon in my mind reads 0
And the scroll icon simply has a red dot
Because the number wasn't supposed to
Ever get as high as mine has
New mission unlocked: Insecure
I have to laugh at that one, don't I?
I've looped back around to being insecure
About the number of my own insecurities
Well, no one else is like this- are they??
New mission unlocked: Odd one out
Suddenly his voice reverberates in my head
"I don't think it's that they're small,
I think maybe they seem that way because
They're farther apart than most people."
New mission unlocked: Far apart eyes
Such a minuscule detail I didn't notice
But someone else can see it
So into the pile it goes
Right onto the list of things I need to fix
I can't sit here forever collecting insecurities
Lest I override the system entirely
With the sheer growing number
That seems to have no bounds
And so I go about my day as I usually do
Which means I collect more missions
More insecurities that will never go away
Like a disease that's curable, but out of my budget
Today she walked up to me and talked to me
Somehow she isn't off put by my face
She tells me, "Wow, your eyes look so pretty
They're more blue today, like a sapphire stone"
I smile and thank her for her words
Even though I wish she hadn't said them
They don't do anything for me anymore
I can't believe a thing she tells me
Why don't compliments work the same
As the insults that scar up and remain?
Am I really cursed to feel worse and worse
Every day, with no way to help or fix it?
Of course I am
I don't deserve any better
New mission unlocked: Kill yourself
Description: Do it- everyone's waiting
Reward: liberation
Cost: nothing but plain useless you
New achievement unlocked: Finally.
