Back arched, head bowed, eyes forward.
Try to ignore that blaring alarm in the background.
Keep your eyes, your beautiful eyes, on me.
Keep your hands, your filthy hands, all over me.
May your God turn His blind eye for the sake of heat.
Eyes crossed, take that pill with tonic and gin.
These chills running up my spine are persistent,
But your siren symphony of praise soothes me.
It's not wrong- its beautiful, and it's so right.
And even if it wasn't, this is just for tonight.
My eyes gouged out by my own dull spoons,
I trusted you enough to tell you I couldn't see.
That these hallucinations don't always add up.
You cuffed my hand with your softest iron,
And told me this cage was to keep them out.
I dropped my poker face in favor of hooded eyes.
I told you, my hand is full of 8's, from every suit.
Go fish, you said, and got exactly what you wanted.
Draw again, and remind me why this is all okay.
After all, it's just one game, and it's just for tonight.
But I lost the game, faced with this bitter defeat.
The sweet taste of the notion of victory draws me in.
And again, I'm stuck with a uniform hand.
You know what I hold, you know how this ends,
And yet you keep playing, keep drawing those cards.
Ill, those pills hit my empty stomach like gunfire.
It's revolting, the way my muscles seize and shake.
It's worse, the way I hope the pain never ends.
The doctor told me I needed these pills to live, and
I've found so much joy with this newfound routine
I haven't eaten in weeks, nothing worth eating.
My teeth, they long to sink into flesh and bone,
I want that snap of cartilage against these canines,
I want to feel your blood seep into my skin,
Staining me red with this passion, this lust.
Just for tonight, I'll be what you want me to be.
And you'll be everything I already knew you were.
Come tomorrow, I'll be the one bearing that weight,
And you'll settle soft, ignoring thorns and dew.
Kiss me good morning, know me to sleep.
Eye for an eye, heart for a desperate dream.
I couldn't tell you which one scares me more.
The desire to run and the desire to fall forward,
Two circus acts, underfunded and without audience.
Juggling two hearts, four hands, and half a brain.
Fear and love are a horribly sugary blend,
My sweet tooth gets the better of my sense of self.
I'll be your candy man, spin your licorice web,
So long as you turn off all of the lights,
And as long as you try to forget,
That this was never just for tonight.
