Do my eyes deceive me?
Is my mind playing tricks again?
Or this time do you really hate me?
like I always said you would
I wonder if you still think of me
If what I gave you still makes you smile
I wanted to be a light in your world
A source of joy and love and life
What do I look like when you see me?
Do you see a desolate shell of what I used to be?
I haven't changed as much as you think.
I only give in to my fluctuating mind
When things get especially hard
I think if you could have supported me
When I was at my lowest point
Drowning in my own anger and hate
We could have worked out
I made my mistakes
I know I messed up
But I still dot my Ts and cross my Is
And I do my best, all for you
I wish you still had that spark for me
I know others can light your heart on fire
And I know you love with all your heart
But don't you see?
These people are just the same as me
They all have their own flaws too
No one is perfect. They'll have their hard times
They'll make you feel the same way
When the time comes, can you support them?
Or will you give up again?
I'm still here same as I always am.
The only difference now is I'm incomplete
My flaws are mine alone to worry about
But I still feel like you abandoned me
When I needed you most
Old pictures, old memories, old gifts
Songs that remind me of you
For each one I shed a tear
and refrain from talking to you again
I know you don't want me to.
Everything I do is still with you in mind.
I hope I'm serving the role you want me to play
In the back of my mind, a glimmer of hope
Saying if I try hard enough you'll love me again
Maybe I'm crazy and I should just give up
But I can't give up on you when I promised
I would love you always and forever
I don't break promises, and I still miss you
You don't miss me
You don't want me
You don't need me
All you think about is her
In the reflection of her eyes, can't you see me?
Standing behind you with my heart on my sleeve
Waiting for the next time you need me
Knowing I'll be there every single time.
She's nothing like me in all the worst ways
And she's just like me on the surface level
She couldn't give you what we had
What we had was ours alone and I loved it
I thought you did too.
I still miss you
You appear in my dreams
A romanticized version
Of what you were to me
I still love you
My heart skips a beat
When you stand next to me
And when you say my name
I hope you can even still think of me
With good intentions
