It's every love story you've heard a million times. Until it's not.
Then it's every breakup you've heard a million times.
She's the one who got away. She's doing just fine without him, and he misses her like he needs her to breathe. Hell, he probably does.
Knowing that wouldn't change her mind or make her remember what it felt like before.
I wipe my tear stained cheeks and close the book, tired of living this cliché.
Suddenly, the slow, sorrowful beating of my heart quickens.
My eyes are dried, and that ache in my heart doesn't subside, it just grows warm.
Ignited, something inside me. Something fierce.
Switch.
The fire in my gut is roaring, hatred spilling from every orifice I have.
Black, thick detestation crawls down my legs until I'm ankle deep in murky, deluded rage.
The angel on my shoulder sings, "this isn't you."
The devil opposite him snarls, "it wasn't him who said that, you know."
I'm drowning. Up to my neck in this revolting sludge, and it's only gaining pace
Is this it? Is this where I finally give?
Kicking and screaming, though resistance only wears me down even more.
I know the papers would say it was suicide, ignoring the inky stains on my skin.
Switch.
Hatred? I could never hate you.
My fear of drowning dissipates, and there was never any liquid to begin with.
Im staring down the edge of the cliff, centimeters away from tumbling down.
My breath is shallow. The oxygen is thin up here, and the only way down is forward.
I distinctly remember having a harness. I wouldn't climb all the way up here without one.
It was taken from me, I'm sure of it. Or maybe I misplaced it somewhere.
There's no point in searching for it now. Im sure I won't be finding it again. I'm sure it's easier on the rope if there's no tension.
But oh god, do I need it right now.
Switch.
You took my rope. I know it. You took the rope and now I'm drowning again.
None of it would have happened if you knew how to swim. If you'd just told me the truth.
Just because the slime has gotten into my eyes doesn't mean I've forgotten what You Did.
Switch.
I may have forgotten. I don't know. I can't remember.
Please get me down from here. We can talk on the ground. I talk so much better when I can breathe.
My fear of falling is causing me to shake, I'm losing my balance and I'm afraid the can only way I can fall is forward.
Switch.
Not that you would care.
I don't see you with any buckets or floatation devices.
Why don't you just go to
Switch.
I lied. I didn't mean it. But I still don't see you
I can't see you but I know I need you
Please for the love of
Stop.
I see your face.
I'm not drowning, I'm not falling, I'm just standing here. A few feet away from you.
Is it real? Was any of it?
No, I don't hate you. I don't need you to change your mind.
I don't know where reality stops and starts. All I know is it's not always there.
All I know is, you are real. Seeing you is real. Not what happens when you're not around.
I'll just keep fighting for the ability to stay on the ground.
