Wretched, positively wretched this life is.
How do human beings live their lives parallel to mine and pretend like everything is promised?
To find a unique link between two people, to permanently etch someone's face and soul into the very fabric of your being, just for that connection to be cut and fade out? How can you look at yourself the same?
I haven't really seen myself since you've been gone. They falsely mistake it for confidence when in reality, I just know it doesn't matter because you're not looking at me anymore.
And of course it didn't fade out like nothing. It faded like a sunset sky, turning into a dark navy blue before repeating it's beautiful and devastating cycle.
The first sun shines the brightest when it sets, and after that, you know what morning dew smells like and you can remember how the earth so graciously accepts the loss of its only natural light, and so you fear the dark a little less, and fear the light a little more.
I remember promising you, deeply and truly promising that no matter what happened, through anything the world would throw at us, I would love you forever.
And boy, did the trials come.
Countless obstacles, they came at me over and over again.
Every single one, you
And here I am holding up my end of the promise with nothing but my bruised and bleeding heart.
The strings are matted and frayed, but they weave together in a pattern that forever spells out your name.
I've been told I'm rather good At untying knots, but this one just won't budge. So rather, I cover it with more tendrils until it's not noticeable to anyone but me.
I was brutally and violently thrown into a state of complacency. I live my life entirely content without you, after drowning in the depths of the ocean you left behind you.
Learning how to swim is different than being thrown in and having no choice but to become one with the sharks.
I have a comfortable maritime life, but my distinct lack of fins makes me remember how comfortably my human feet would rest on your ground.
Can you honestly say you've found the same feeling again? I applaud you, circus boy, for I've yet to find a single person in all the world like you, so for you to have such a fast acting backup plan is oh, impressive to me!
I can't believe my hearts' cameras' life was wasted taking pictures of the sun.
Your blinding light ruined my lens, and scorched my retinas.
And now all I'm left with is white, empty film.
